Elysium
by littlefishh
Summary: PostLostColony. Artemis manages to knock up an ambitious supermodel. Holly is dealing with a budding romance of her own, and, in a spectacle of runways and Neutrinos, hearts collide, by choice and chance. Lemon to come. Pairings inside.
1. Yellow, Live Satellite, and Minerva

**Title:** Elysium

**Author:** damnielle / littlefishh

**Description:**Audrinne Redalucci is seventeen-year-old model about to hit it big in Paris; the stick in the mud is… she's colourblind. She solicits the help of a familiar healer in Vietnam, ultimately leading her to Artemis Fowl, in hopes to pour colour into her future. Before the magical restoration can be performed, Artemis and Audrinne find themselves in possession of an unexpected acquisition: another mouth to feed.

**Pairings:**Artemis/OC, Holly/Trouble, Foaly/Caballine

**Rating:**MA for sexual scenes and themes, language, and general ridiculousness.

01. _Audrinne has had it with the vision impairment, Holly and Trouble agree to double date with Caballine and Foaly, and Artemis and the Paradizo girl break up_

* * *

**NOTE:**_ LEMON LEAD-IN IS IN CHAPTER FOUR. LINK TO THE FULL VERSION WILL BE POSTED ON THAT CHAPTER.  
_

* * *

The sticker pinned to the left corner of the scarf said yellow. But it didn't look yellow. 

She cross-referenced it with the other tagged 'yellows' in her wardrobe, and it was certainly different. But she had twenty-three other colour labels, and she didn't really have the time to deduce with colour it was and, since Lexi was out waiting for her at the café, she had no one around to ask. She swung it around her neck and tied it just under her chin, hoping for the best.

She was wearing Steve Madden custom yellow vinyl ankle boot heels with a cork spike, an Oscar de la Renta synch-tie yellow-and-black checkered overcoat with a 'tutu' bottom, opaque black tights, and her (hopefully) yellow scarf. It was couture as was protocol, but her almost barren face—save a few stokes of Covergirl LashExact mascara—added a casual undertone to the mix of designers swirling about her.

Audrinne Redalucci was pretty—she had to be to get where she was—but she was not drop dead gorgeous. Men seldom realized this when catching glimpses of her ads on Broadway or the candid smiles she sneaked from behind her sunglasses for they were so enraptured by her charm to take her—if you'll pardon the semantics—at face value. In her face were so smoothly blended the soft features of her mother, a supple and lithe French dancer, with the harsh blood of her father, a proud and commanding businessman from the nineteenth generation of the Redalucci house. She seemed to have lost the traditional Redalucci black hair colour: instead, long tresses of honeyed-blonde poured from her delicate scalp onto slender, skinny shoulders, and at last ended just over the budding thrust of her bosom. She had bristly brown lashes that arched elegantly away from her face and high cheekbones that sloped obliquely into the button of her nose. It was an arresting face, and, when played alongside her charm and grace, she was able to capture the attention of any in her midst.

But there was a reason she was sure to put a pair of thick Armani sunglasses on. She had a very peculiar set of eyes, considering both her father and her mother had electric green eyes. Hers were inexplicably and definitely grey.

And these grey eyes dyed the rest of the world grey. She was colourblind.

She dodged the paparazzi excellently, even in heels on a cobblestone surface. Lexi had picked one of few cafes in Milan that allowed her privacy, this time through personal advantage. The owner, Benito Giovo, had all patrons not there for eating shut out. As soon as Audrinne arrived and greeted the floor manager with her signature smile, he ushered her on to the porch, where Lexi was waiting, and ejected all of the cameramen, who hungrily scampered around the outside of the building for an alternate view of the fledgling model.

Lexi was sitting on the open-air porch with her cappuccino in hand and a small, fruity pastry lying half-eaten on a plate before her. She had ordered Audrinne's signature drink, a double shot espresso with light cinnamon and honey, but the cup had long since gone cold. She was reading a tabloid through Fendi glasses, legs crossed and sipping frequently. She was wearing her favourite pair of Rocket Dogs and Religion jeans accompanied by a cropped-neck peacoat in a rust colour.

As Audrinne sat down and unloaded her shoulder bag from her arm, she said curtly, "JCrew?"

"Ann Taylor," Lexi said absentmindedly, folding the tabloid. "Being your body-girl and general canyon-woman has its perks."

She signaled to a waiter to remake the espresso and then folded her hands, looking over at Audrinne. From behind her bug-eyed glasses, she grimaced. "Gross! Why are you wearing a green scarf?"

Audrinne nearly tore it off her neck and held it up as if it were coated in muck. "I tacked it as yellow," she said softly.

"That sucker's green. It totally doesn't match. Everything else looks good, though." She gave her a one-eyed going-over. "I like the shoes. Madden?"

"They came in this morning. They feel weird in tights, but I just hate tights."

They jabbered on about fashion for a while until a waiter called to them. "Misses, I have an order I must run. Audrinne, your espresso is in the green cup on the Lazy Susan."

Audrinne was on her feet, and so was Lexi. Lexi took off her glasses. "Please, girl. I'll get it."

Audrinne glared from the safety of her own glasses. "I'm not five, Lexi," she said in perfect Italian.

"_S__ì_," Lexi conceded, and sat back down.

Audrinne glided gently up to the barista's table. The rotating circle on the bar was made with mahogany instead of the usual place's cherry wood. Her drink was not alone—there were three others—but which was hers?

All were in coffee mugs with the Italian logo swirled across them. She lifted up her sunglasses and squinted. Sometimes, when she squinted, dabbles of colour would settle in the corners of her sight, but she was not this lucky. But she was daring, and she was a celebrity.

She selected the farthest cup and turned to walk back to the table, but instead came chest to chest with the flustered waiter. Her glasses thunked back onto her nose.

He looked at her questioningly. "I said green, Miss." He took the cup form her and plucked a warmer one from the table. "Not yellow." He smiled curtly and laughed as he zoomed off with her first mug.

She sat back down nervously, eying Lexi, who was looking at her expectantly. Audrinne soured instantly. "It was the sunglasses."

"I didn't say anything," Lexi said. "Is it just green and yellow?"

"I don't know. What are green and yellow? I wouldn't know if I saw them," she said miserably.

Lexi patted her arm. "It's okay. It's not important. Here's what is important."

She whipped out her stack of papers and folders and selected a green one. She knew Audrinne couldn't see it, but she still felt like she was insulting her. She licked her finger and expertly flicked though several pages until she came to a letter she'd tucked in between the notebook's clips. "Armani had scheduled you in to his line-up for fashion week in Paris in his 'ready-to-wear' and 'haute-couture' lines. He should have told you last week—"

"He did, Papa and I took him to dinner."

"Excellent. I take it you are officially going with Armani for Paris, then?"

"Definitely for Milan. Who else has offered for Paris?"

"Christian Dior and Jean Paul Gaultier, both for haute couture. Armani wants you to walk in two shows."

"Gaultier! Wow. I have a pair of shades and maybe a coat by him. This is tough."

"This should make it easy: Armani has notified me that he is considering you as an opener for his haute-couture run."

"Armani it is."

Lexi smiled. "I like Mr. Armani. He is very polite and always happy. I spoke with him on the phone and nearly fainted."

Audrinne laughed. "He is very kind. He actually sent me a personal Christmas card last year."

Lexi shot an acute look over Audrinne's shoulder. "The kids are here. Looks like Dante Boy-Wonder drove."

Audrinne turned around in her chair and nudged her glasses a little off her nose. Sure enough, her younger brother had brought all five younger siblings to come see her. Lucia and Aurelius ran immediately in her direction, followed by Francesca, who was carrying baby Marvalone. "High heavens. He's only just got his license."

She caught Lucia and Aurelius in her arms and hugged them tightly. They were chattering simultaneously and cancelled out the other. She smiled nonetheless. "Hello, _amores_. How are you?"

Francesca put her head forward for Audrinne to kiss, which she did. "Dante says he can drive now. He's taking us to the Fountains tomorrow."

Audrinne kissed Marvalone and then stood. "Your brother is foolish. I'll take you to the Fountains myself. We'll ride in the long car."

Appeased, Francesca took Audrinne's chair. Audrinne turned to greet her two brothers who were currently swaggering over, drinks in hand.

She embraced Dante's shadow, Ettorio III, and kissed him on the cheek. "Etty! Good to see you."

"You too, sis. I learned a whole bunch of new moves in fencing. I'll take you on when you come home some time."

"I'm coming home tonight. I didn't tell Papa. And I'll gladly accept that challenge," she said, punching him lightly in the chest. He smiled brightly.

Dante snorted. "I'll play winner." He hugged his sister warmed and kissed her on the mouth. "I wished you had told me you were in. We had to follow the waves of paparazzi just dying to get in here."

"I'm glad an unlicensed driver like you didn't get caught by the police holding them off," she said coldly. "You know you can't drive for another three months."

"You didn't mind when I drove you to the airport!"

"Lexi was with me, and you were not driving around my family."

"I'm family," Lexi protested, bouncing Marvalone on her knee.

"What do we say to Lexi, everyone?"

"_Buon giorno_," they chorused monotonously. Lexi smiled, apparently mollified. Francesca and Lucia began asking her about the goings-on of the fashion world.

Audrinne turned back to Dante. "Watch it, punk. And I mean it. This isn't one of those 'one-strike' things. One strike, and they could be dead."

"Audrie, you know I'm a fine driver. And I would never put my own family in jeopardy. You know it."

"You get over-confident sometimes, Dante." She turned back to her siblings. "Hot chocolate, everyone? No whipped cream, Lucia?"

They nodded, and began loudly dragging chairs over to their table. When Audrinne arrived at the bar, Benito had already made five hot chocolates, one without whipped cream. He winked. "I love my Redalucci's."

"We love you too, Mr. Giovo," she said, smiling. She picked up the tray and eyed the cups. They were all the same colour, she guessed. She set them down in front of their corresponding drinkers and said bravely, "He gave us red for 'Redalucci'. What do we say to Mr. Giovo?"

They looked at her strangely, and she felt a heat rise to her face with no concealer to hide it. She had guessed the colour wrong.

Lexi covered her. "Audrinne got you! Yellow isn't red." She tickled Marvalone, who giggled shrilly. "Good one, Audrie. But what do we say to Mr. Giovo?"

"_Grazie, Signor Giovo!_" Lucia stared at Audrinne in admiration before tucking in like the rest.

_That's it_, she said to herself, shaking her head. _I am so done with yellow._

* * *

"I won't do it." 

"Please, Holly, pleeeeeease!"

"Absolutely not. It's ridiculous."

Foaly stamped his hooves in a mini-temper-tantrum. "Why? It is one night, Holly. I'm not asking you to marry him."

"But you are asking me to put up with unnecessary awkwardness for an entire night," she said, flustered. She hung her Neutrino blaster on the gun rack and buffed out a scratch in her visor with a ball of her sleeve.

"It won't be awkward."

"Yes it will. You and Caballine will call each other 'my stallion' and 'my sugar-booger' and—"

"I do not call her a sugar-booger, Holly—"

"The point is, Foaly, that you two are obviously more serious about this relationship than I am. And Caballine isn't your coworker, so it's different."

"Oh, please, Holly. You and Trouble are two fun, lively people. I don't have anyone else to go with."

"Then go alone."

"I have four tickets!"

"Don't you need one for your rumps?"

Foaly snorted in distaste. "Don't be the party-pooper, Holly. Just ask him and come."

She shut her locker and inflated her chest sarcastically. "Oh, now _I_ have to ask him, too?"

Foaly threw up his hands. "Damn it, Holly, I was inviting you to the biggest concert of the year because you're a friend and coworker I respect! And I'm asking you to bring another coworker we both like and respect! If I told you Artemis was coming, you'd say yes in a heartbeat."

"We should bring him and the Paradizo girl. I don't know her and I ought to, especially if she's bouncing around with Artemis."

"She's clean. I went through her files extensively, and I've had satellites on her ever since Artemis met her. She's quite the devoted girl."

Foaly suddenly blushed. Holly narrowed her eyes to slits. "You've been spying on her and Artemis, haven't you?"

"Well, it has been somewhat necessary! With two kid geniuses together, they could potentially plan a Nazi revival or something…it was purely for safety, Holly."

Holly's face didn't change.

"I swear. I haven't really watched anything tat'd they've done, at least, not much."

Holly's eyebrow shot up to her hairline.

"I might have watched a few dates, but that was only when I had no other surveillance to do! It was only like one or two…"

Her eyes became thinner.

"Maybe three or four…"

"You've been watching them copulate, I bet."

Foaly turned so red, she expected blood to pop out of his ears. She made a face. "Gross, Foaly! That's pretty low."

"I was on the tape, so I watched it. I tried to look away, but I was laughing too hard."

"You recorded it?!"

"All of my satellite feeds save to a private database! Artemis' files are saved to an extra-secure vault, so don't worry. The Council won't find them."

An awkward silence settled over them. Foaly clicked his hoof against the ground and looked at the ceiling, embarrassed. Holly crossed her arms and stared him down, a pinkish tint rising in her own face.

"I want to see them."

"WHAT? Absolutely not. They are classified. Double classified—"

"I'll ask Trouble to the concert."

Foaly weighed his options, mulling it over briefly. "Deal. But you can't tell him that either of us know."

Holly smirked, relief washing over them both. "Even the People sin in pairs."

Foaly sighed. "But he's only fourteen. Or eighteen, depending on how you count. A little young. Just a little."

"That's just because you haven't gotten any in your entire life," Holly teased.

Foaly glared at her. "Yeah, well I'll have you know that Caballine calls me her stallion for a reason."

"Nasty," Holly said, miming being sick, and the two retreated to Foaly's lab, extra careful to ensure the door was locked.

* * *

Somewhere in the middle and dark of night, Minerva Paradizo woke. 

She was carnally exhausted, but her mind was firing rapidly, as always. She rolled over to face him, but he had his back to her.

Artemis Fowl had been awake the entire time. The more he tried to sleep after he'd…entertained Minerva, the less it came to him. Now he had crested into a stage of insomnia, which angered Minerva the Morning After. For all her hard and logical rationale, she expected their romance to be quite the storybook sort, and that, for Artemis, was utterly impossible.

His attraction to her had become increasingly physical, as he found her inexplicably annoying and haughty, constantly bashing him for being a perfectionist and gloating for days when she finally exploited one of his flaws. It was a love-hate relationship, and it wasn't at all what she pictured. And, judging by the irritated snort as she turned back to her other side, it wasn't want she'd had in mind, either.

He waited a few moments for her to slip back into deep sleep before extracting himself from the covers and putting on a bathrobe. He already had his boxers on since his business with her was quite finished. He walked to the door and opened it, silently looking back at the sleeping girl in his guest room bed. He had never been able to welcome her into the warm of his own sheets for the sinking pit he felt opening in his stomach every time the idea came to him.

But she made a pretty picture sleeping where she was. Her blonde curls had unfurled across the pillows, and the sheets draped demurely across her breasts and thighs, leaving expanses of youthful skin free to bask in the glow of the moon. He tried to see the beauty he once drank greedily of in the beginning, but his gaze was lost. It was not the way a man looked at a woman he loved. It wasn't even lust. It was something rather colder and more calculating, and it turned the Irish boy's already pale eyes to the color of a winter frost.

He left the room and went downstairs, seeing that Juliet and Butler were lazily watching a television program on wrestling. Butler noticed Artemis immediately and walked out to greet him. Juliet was mesmerized, as easily as ever.

"What is it?" Butler was strangely attuned to his charge's emotions, however thickly masked.

"It's Minerva," he said, as if he were trying to crack a puzzle. "I've lost it with her. I feel nothing for her, nothing in the places I should be feeling things for her."

"What happened?"

"Nothing. We went to dinner, and she didn't want to go to the cinema, citing it was too late. So we went upstairs, and…I'm sure you know, my friend…but now it's over. And I can feel it, more than ever."

"Is it Holly?"

Artemis scoffed. "I could never love Holly. What would we talk about, besides the People? We have nothing in common and we're from separate worlds. I admire her beauty, but Holly is simply out of the question."

Butler shook a martini for himself and downed it in a single gulp. He scowled at the taste and began assembling different liquors. "When did this rut with Minerva begin?"

"About two months ago."

Butler thought for a moment. "No event comes to mind."

"There was no trigger. I mentioned it in my journal about two months ago. One month and twenty-three days, I believe."

"Well, what do you like about her?"

"She's smart, but I'm smarter. She is pretty. I like her hair and eyes. I like the dresses she wears. She smells like jasmine, and I've deduced that she buys from an Indian spice company acquainted with her father. She makes me feel less alone in the world, but she doesn't know Holly or Foaly… or Julius. Half of my life is severed from her understanding."

"Julius…" Butler said wistfully. "A good man."

They raised their glasses, and drank to him. Artemis sighed. "I feel rotten for not liking her anymore."

"It is not your duty to like her, Artemis. It is your duty to respect her. You cannot simply toss her out on the street because you tire of her."

"Yes, I know. I think I shall ask for some space to think things through before I do something too quickly. We have that gala event at the end of the month… perhaps I shall ask to see her then."

"She had mentioned something about fashion week in Paris…"

"Yes, she wants to see Christian Lacroix's haute couture line as he's just bought some of her father's stock. Giorgio Armani is supposed to be there as well, and I hear he is looking for a business consultant."

Butler smiled. "There he is. Always on the look-out for an opportunity."

Artemis pulled a piece of paper and a think-tipped pen and began to scribble a note. "I am leaving for the night. I'm going to fly to Berlin to see Mother and Father. I'll take the private jet. Please give this to Minerva and see her home safely."

Butler grunted and read the note through a squint. It announced his departure and told her he would see her in Paris in late November for fashion week. "Master Fowl, I should like to accompany you—"

But he was up the staircase to pack. Butler sighed and folded the note, then went back to the wrestling program.


	2. Armani, Trouble Brewing, and Spying

**Title:** Elysium

**Author:** damnielle / littlefishh

**Description:**Audrinne Redalucci is seventeen-year-old model about to hit it big in Paris; the stick in the mud is… she's colourblind. She solicits the help of a familiar healer in Vietnam, ultimately leading her to Artemis Fowl, in hopes to pour colour into her future. Before the magical restoration can be performed, Artemis and Audrinne find themselves in possession of an unexpected acquisition: another mouth to feed.

**Pairings:**Artemis/OC, Holly/Trouble, Foaly/Caballine

**Rating:**MA for sexual scenes and themes, language, and general ridiculousness.

_02. Artemis and Audrinne are scheduled for dinner with Armani, Trouble is brewing, and Foaly does some snooping_

When the call came, Artemis put his fairy phone to his head and then blushed when he realized it was his own modern cell phone. He was so accustomed to being telephoned by Butler or Holly that he did not recognize the ringtone for an unlisted caller. Butler had just flown in to Berlin after dismissing Minerva, so he and the manservant picked up clone phones so they could each listen for danger.

"Artemis Fowl, Junior," he said calmly.

"_Signor_ Fowl!" The voice opposite him was masculine and heavily Italian. "_Buon giorno_!"

Artemis was running voice diagnostics through his pirated LEP software. Two matches came up: a hitman from Belize who was currently incarcerated in Colorado's maximum-security prison and the highly notable fashion designer Giorgio Armani. He selected the latter. "Mister Giorgio Armani. How do you do?"

The laughter on the other end was thick and rich. "You are a smart man, Mister Fowl. I am doing very well, all things considered. And yourself?"

Artemis smiled. He hadn't called him a boy. He was a _man_ to the Italian. "I, too, am doing quite well. Might I inquire why you graced me with a phone call?"

He grimaced at Butler, but Italians were easily curry-favoured with flattery. Armani was no different. "You are a true fan. I heard you have flown into Florence for the weekend?"

Butler shook his head violently. Armani could be trying to ascertain his location underhandedly. "You are mistaken, sir. I am visiting my parents on a golf vacation. I have no plans of ever being in Florence."

"Ah, I see," he said, and Artemis sensed that Armani caught wind of his secrecy. "Well, I was calling to invite you to a business dinner at my Waterfall chalet on the river. I am in the market for a consultant in both business and advertising."

Artemis ignored Butler's glare. "I would be happy to join you in Florence, Mr. Armani. It would be quite the honor. What dates are we looking at?"

"When can you make it?"

"Tomorrow evening at the earliest," he said politely.

"_Dizionario_! I shall have a limo pick you up from the airport. Consider this an interview, Mr. Fowl. My favourite employee will be there as well. If she likes you, then I am sure you are the man for the job."

_Man_ again. "She?"

"Yes. My long time muse, the young Audrinne Redalucci. I shall have to fly her in immediately." A snapping noise sounded over the line and his voice sounded distant even though he was shouting. It was Italian with a Tuscan accent. "Guiana! Call Marcelle and get Audrie in to Florence at once!"

Artemis was thoroughly excited right now. "Alright, Mr. Armani. I shall be delighted to see you in Florence tomorrow evening."

"The pleasure is mine, good sir. _Arrivederci, Signor_."

Artemis had a search running on 'Audrinne Redalucci' before he even closed the phone. He had heard the name before, but he was not one to keep up with celebrities in the tabloids. He found an entry on Wikipedia and several scans of People magazine. Her personal website came up after some more in-depth searching.

" 'Audrinne Portia Redalucci is the youngest model to ever walk the Parisian runway, having walked for Giorgio Armani's 'ready-to-wear' spring line in 2007 at age fifteen. Redalucci is best known for her work with correspondent haute couture master Giorgio Armani. She is the face of Armani's 2008 fragrance, _Sanctuary_, and was the face of the Canon Powershot series (March 2007-February of 2008) and Steve Madden's 2008 line of shoes, titled _Redalucci_.' On Forbes 100 Hottest Minors of 2008, she was ranked number one and is the among the highest paid models of her day, averaging 48,000USD for private shoots and 800,000USD for runway appearances."

Butler squinted at the page. "How old is she?"

"Born November 12th, 1991. She turned eighteen last November."

"That's a bit young to be where she is," Butler said. Then he corrected himself. "I take that back, sir. Perhaps she's ambitious like you."

Artemis was now scrolling through her Armani portfolio. "No, she is just pretty."

Butler eyed a picture and raised an eyebrow. She was wearing a bright floral dress and black leather ankle boots framed by metal. She was sitting on a white box and had her chin cradled in her fist, as if bored. But her face was lit up somehow, through some strange inner radiance. Her smile was thin and subliminal, and her eyes a bright green. "Just pretty?"

Artemis was transfixed. "Very pretty. Extremely attractive. She does not look very Italian…pale, yes, but thin and blonde." He toggled his pages. "She was born in Corsica, but that French province is still mostly Italian. Her father is a prominent businessman…he owns several companies and has a decent foothold in American plastics. His estimated worth is one-hundred-and-fifty-six million USD…hers is only thirty."

"At age eighteen, a thirty-million earned fortune is formidable."

Artemis steepled his fingers and turned to face Butler. "Perhaps you forget, my good friend, that _I_ am formidable. I am 'nineteen' years old with numbers in the tens of billions. I am worth more than her entire family. I am worth more than Armani himself, whose own wealth is only four billion. She is nothing next to me."

Butler was not cowed, but he conceded. Artemis changed desks and began connecting to live satellite feeds. He programmed her citizenship ID into the database, and, sure enough, Foaly's software triangulated her position. He zoomed in on the feed.

A pretty blonde girl stared blankly out of a car window, almost in the same pose as her Armani shot only the smile was gone from her face. Someone from within in the limo must have attracted her attention, as she turned her head and smiled sadly. Artemis lip-read her Italian: "I was supposed to take them to the Fountains later today. Instead, I have a five-hour drive to Florence." She sighed and went back to the window. "I miss my family."

And the window rolled up, closing her away. He felt a little guilty, but it quickly dissipated. Artemis cocked an eyebrow. "Interesting." His fingers blurred as he re-entered search data, this time probing for birth certificates from Italy with the last name 'Redalucci'. Using a more complex search algorithm, he managed to cherry-pick hers from the masses. Her name and birth date matched those listed on the Wikipedia entry. He swiped her father's name and used it to search for his children.

"Children of Dante Ettorio Redalucci and Maya Francesca di Solia," he read aloud. "Audrinne Portia, age eighteen; Dante Gianno, age sixteen; Ettorio Lucillus III, age fourteen; Aurelius Iada, age eleven; twins Lucia Coriana and Francesca Battone, ages nine; and Marvalone Giovanni, age eighteen months."

"Quite a gap between the twins and Marvalone," Butler said.

"He is probably a souvenir from a tropical vacation," Artemis said smugly.

"Typical Italians, through and through. Lots of kids. They must be Catholic."

"All were baptized in Saint Ambrose's Basilica, which is indisputably Catholic."

He double-clicked on a search find. A family picture popped up, with an assertive looking man and a meek but happy woman in the background and all seven Redalucci children in the front. Audrinne was in between her parents, sitting on a stool shrouded in children. She had Marvalone on her knee and her free arm slung around one of the twins. The smile splayed on her face was brilliant and easily outshone the others, though it was a good match against the other Redalucci genes. A physical family relation was certainly prevalent: light skin, dazzling smiles, and slender physiques.

"Butler," he said abruptly. "Please schedule a flight in to Florence for tomorrow and delay dinner. I want to do more research on this Redalucci girl."

* * *

Holly could kill Foaly for what he had talked her into doing.

Still, it was worth it to see Artemis and Minerva…conducting business. Granted, she was now scarred for life, but it would be endless secret giggling for her and Foaly henceforth. The two were quite an awkward pair…and Holly never could have imagined that Artemis would put up with someone so overbearing. He was weaker than she thought.

As soon as she found herself giggling privately, she remembered what she was doing and sobered. She gathered her resolve and prepared to knock.

This was ridiculous. Foaly had talked her into this. She could short-change the centaur—as he had done to her so many times for kicks and grins—and simply walk away to laugh privately over the scandalous videos. But Holly had honor, even if it was over a dishonorable matter, and videos of two Mud Men child prodigies screwing like trolls was certainly dishonorable.

She raised her hand, pulling her fingers into a fist.

This would be awkward. If Trouble refused her, she decided to attend the concert anyway and bother Foaly the entire time. Besides, she was at least interested in meeting Caballine. But this would turn into quite the grim sacrifice if he did, as things at work would become unpleasantly strange. She swallowed dryly.

Before her hand hit the aluminum-reinforced door, it swung open, giving way to a thoroughly red and steaming Trouble Kelp.

The two stared in awe at the other until Trouble began to turn even redder and Holly cocked her head to one side. "Trouble, why are you smoking?"

He took a fistful of her shoulder and pulled her inside and shut the door firmly. His entire apartment was full of a sweet-smelling smoke. Holly thought the smoke looked a bit pink, but she couldn't tell if it truly was or if she was hallucinating. Trouble was moving around somewhere but she could barely see her hand sin front of her face. A loud whirring noise echoed nearby, and a stove fan began sucking out all the steam. In the clarity, Holly saw that some of it had condensed on her white uniform: the steam was pink.

Over the stove, Trouble was stirring the smoking solution in an iron pot. Holly approached tentatively. The liquid inside was the consistency of melted chocolate and smelled like pomegranate. And it was a deep neon pink.

"Trouble, is that—"

"You tell anybody and I swear I'll—"

"So behind all the buff and muscle, Trouble Kelp is brewing Lorelai Fern's Silky Smooth Skin Salve," Holly said, battling hysteria. "What was the tagline? 'Smooth as a Gnome's Behind'? So those manly muscles you've got are as smooth as Sool's rear. I'm sure he'll be delighted to know."

He hustled her out of the way and stirred angrily. "Sweating dries out my skin. And I sweat a lot because I work hard, Captain."

Holly hardened. "Are you accusing me of slacking?"

"I'm just saying I'm not a pansy."

"I never called you a pansy, Major."

As she said his rank, he remembered his seniority. "Official order. If you tell anyone that I make and use this use, I will make life very miserable for you, Captain."

"You remind me of Julius. All hot air. He just needed to blow me in the right direction. I'm not afraid of you, Trouble." And he knew it was true. His face fell and Holly almost felt bad for him.

Suddenly, she felt Artemis Fowl kick her in the brain as an evil idea popped into her head. "But we could work something out."

"Oh yeah?" said the elf, looking up in hope.

Holly smiled. This was a lot easier now.

* * *

Another alert flashed up on Foaly's screen: 'Targets ARTFWL and BUTLER changing position by greater than 10 klicks."

He hit the zoom button and his satellite feeds came up. Luckily, the lens didn't have to focus, as Artemis and Butler were in a plane 10,000 feet above the surface. He sent a sound signal down to pick up conversation. As per usual, it came in clearly. Foaly grinned his impish 'I-am-so-incredibly-clever' grin.

Artemis was flying. "Would it be tacky to wear an Armani tuxedo to the dinner?"

"Would you wear Versace to a Calvin Klein show?"

"I have been to one fashion show, and that was Christian Dior. At the time, there was not a designer men's line from Christian Dior worth wearing."

"Were the surrounding women wearing Dior?"

"I believe so."

"Then you should wear Armani to the meeting. You brought six different Armani tuxedos but only two pairs of loafers. And the pink tie I threw in at the last minute is by Ralph Lauren."

"Order one and have it rushed delivered. I hope Armani is as attuned to his fashion as we are. What do you think Audrinne will wear?"

The Russian sighed, exasperated. "So it begins. What will _Audrinne_ wear? What will _Audrinne_ eat? What languages does _Audrinne_ speak? I almost miss Maria."

"Maria hadn't the nominal or physical beauty of Audrinne. It rolls off the tongue wonderfully." Artemis smiled to himself. "She'll probably be wearing something from Armani's fall collection, no doubt. Something he's never showcased before. She does seem to be his favourite…being a muse for longer than a year in the fashion world is unheard of."

"She might have been so for even longer. Redalucci Imports is one of Armani's big fabric suppliers. That deal was first negotiated when she was a mere lap-child."

"She still is a lap-child."

Butler threw his hands up. "You cannot go into this interview thinking that she is an fashionista prostitute."

"How else would she curry the favour of someone like Armani?"

"Perhaps the same way you did, Artemis: a reputation for entrepreneurship."

Foaly zoomed out and kicked up his search computers. He typed 'Audrinne Redalucci' into the box and waited for it to spit out its results. Artemis was frying bigger fish now; the fashion industry was a new victim for him.


	3. Concerts, Fashion, and Meeting

**Title:** Elysium

**Author:** damnielle

**Description:**Audrinne Redalucci is seventeen-year-old model about to hit it big in Paris; the stick in the mud is… she's colourblind. She solicits the help of a familiar healer in Vietnam, ultimately leading her to Artemis Fowl, in hopes to pour colour into her future. Before the magical restoration can be performed, Artemis and Audrinne find themselves in possession of an unexpected acquisition: another mouth to feed.

**Pairings:**Artemis/OC, Holly/Trouble, Foaly/Caballine

**Rating:**MA for sexual scenes and themes, language, and general ridiculousness.

* * *

_03. The Traveling Centaur-and-Captain Show premieres at a concert, Holly has no style but Caballine is flaunting it, and Artemis meets Audrinne… Butler thinks Lexi is hot._

In secondary school, Holly's mother had forced her into skirts. Ever since she graduated college and joined the LEP, she'd been in nothing but pants, pants so tight she could feel her thighs like separate beings. There was no way she could go back to skirts after bonding with those pants in battle with Artemis Fowl; she even felt awkward when wriggling through tubes small tunnels. Now she stood in her apartment's bathroom mirror, wearing a dress she'd bought at a consignment store eight blocks away.

The fairy at the counter recognized her and her face brightened. "You're that LEP girl! The Captain! With…with…with the Mud Man… and…oh, blimey, I can't remember. But you're the LEP girl!"

Holly wished the _mesmer_ was allowed for use on other fairies so she could have this girl spouting off Emily Dickinson's poetry instead of 'The LEP girl bought a dress'. She paid for the dress and rushed home, fuming.

'At least I have another reason to tell Foaly not to look surprised when I kill him.'

On the bright, she didn't have to do anything to her cropped auburn hair, save run some styling paste through it to add texture. As far as make-up went, she was again lost; her helmet visor was usually the only thing adorning her face. She settled on a light rust brown that blended in with the natural shade of her eyes. She smoothed the dress…

…and realized she had no shoes to wear.

The dress was a strapless black tea-length dress that was pleated with gunmetal highlights. She had maybe ten minutes to salvage a pair of shoes. At this point, Holly could care less. She had negotiated herself into this mess. If she came out with her reputation in one piece, she was going to treat herself to a trip to the surface.

She unclipped her combat boots from her leggings and tugged them on. They shrank around her bare foot, and she tucked the loose buckles in. Her alarm bell sounded.

"D'arvit, that's Trouble," she said under her breath. She wrenched the door open. Apparently, the two couldn't ever meet without one huffing and puffing.

Trouble looked strangely suave. His suit was navy blue with a white-and-azure pinstriped shirt and shiny satin bowtie. He had a sundry of calla lilies in her right hand and he was wearing an expression that suggested inner foolishness. As he saw her, he brightened. "Whew. The flowers match. Hey, are those LEP boots?"

"I have no high-heels. I'm used to spending my weekends de-fragging Fowl's messes, not cavorting around down town."

"Sad."

"Soft as Sool's rear," she said crudely, snatching her LEP side-sling and closing the door behind her. He was silent as they walked down to the lobby of the LEP quarters. Pixies and gnomes ogled as they went by; even Vinyaya stuck her head out of her office to see Holly in a dress and Trouble in a suit. The two deadliest agents in the LEP were arm and arm in formalities. The irony nearly brought the place to the ground with behind-the-back sniggers.

Foaly was driving a smooth, brushed metal hovercraft. Trouble opened the door and sat shotgun. Next to Holly was the infamous Caballine, who introduced herself promptly. "Hello, Captain. I'm Caballine. Foaly has said a lot about you."

She was a lot thinner and built than Foaly, who was well on his way to becoming fit. Her eyes were pretty and made-up, and her cloak was a gossamer blue chiffon. Holly suddenly felt stupid in her LEP boots. "It's Holly, please. I'm glad to finally meet the Great Caballine."

Foaly blushed. Caballine chuckled. "I hope no one bothers you at the concert now that you're famous."

"My reputation precedes me. It's not a huge thing." She grinned at Caballine. The centauress was very polite. Holly liked her already.

"Well, Major, you sure clean up well," Foaly joked. "I like the bowtie."

"Tied it myself, first try," he said proudly.

"You look very handsome, Trouble," Holly said, annunciating perfectly to deliver a more sincere compliment. "We are going to get a lot of flack at HQ when we get back. I apologize in advance."

"Don't. I'm the one who agreed to come."

Foaly cackled. "Did you have to extort him in to coming, Holly? You can't get a date without striking deals? You've been hanging with Artemis for too long."

"I think Artemis has his… hands full," she said simply, watching Foaly's face blossom into scarlet in the rearview. Suddenly, he sobered, and ran a hand idly through his mane.

"Actually, our little Arty has found himself a new girlfriend, I think. Last my scanners indicated, he was flying to Florence to meet a supermodel, and Minerva was in Nice, bawling her eyes out."

"His loss," Trouble said. "She at least gave up on the People. Artemis wouldn't let us go, always dragging us into his problems."

"Actually, the last two times, we sought out his help. And now he's with a supermodel? Who?"

"Audrinne Redalucci."

Caballine inhaled sharply, a visible excitement rising over her. "Oh, my. She's quite a big name in Mud Man fashion. I love paging through their couture books for sculpting ideas." She took a deep breath. "An Italian designer, Giorgio Armani, has absolutely fallen in love with her. I've sculpted her face on to some of my smaller-scale compositions—"

She was rooting around in her handbag, and pulled out a Mud Man magazine tear-out. It was a picture of a girl, visible from the waist up, wearing a scant diamond-woven bikini top. A cage of water rivulets was shooting up about her, and one hand was dragging through them, spraying water all over her face. Her eyes were smoked with eyeliner and shadow, but her skin was a fair tan that contrasted beautifully with the background. The end of the ad folded out, and Holly caught the scent of chamomile and mint. The foldout read, in curly font, "Sanctuary Giorgio Armani".

"She is the face of Armani's latest fragrance, _Sanctuary_. It out-sold Britney Spears' _Curious_ in 2008."

None of them knew what that meant. Caballine folded the ad and put it back in her handbag. "She's done very well, considering she is only eighteen."

"Artemis is only nineteen and his kidnapped a fairy, stopped a goblin revolution, beaten Opal Koboi twice, and saved Hybras."

"We should have invited him and his belle," Trouble said absentmindedly.

"I don't even know if they're a thing, officially. But I'm pretty sure he and Minerva are over."

He and Holly held an awkward stare for a few moments until Foaly almost ran up onto the median. After that, they made idle chatter until they'd reached the Gaian Arena.

The Gaian Arena was a silent world wonder. Constructed of a palladium-aluminum hybrid, it was flexible and heat-resistant, not to mention completely soundproof. Troll fights used to be held here in the old days, but now it was the hotspot for trendy concerts and blaster-ball tournaments. The outside streets were clogged with traffic, and the Atlantean tourists posing for pictures weren't helping.

Foaly ascended to an overhead parking deck and docked the hovercraft. The party took an air-trolley to the main gate, and walked into the open-air simulation room. At least, it was projecting open-air: the ceiling was coated in an image of Tara. The four sighed simultaneously. A lot of memories had been conducted at Tara, with or without the police. Holly felt a bit nostalgic, but she wouldn't let Foaly see. He loved to tease her when technology got the best of her.

"Who are we seeing again/' Holly said, breaking the tension. Trouble handed her a concert pamphlet. Holly smiled happily. "The Undertones! I love contemporary jazz."

"And Molly Moss is opening," Trouble said. "She ought to be co-headliner. I think she's bigger than the Undertones."

"I can only listen to her for so lang. Then I have to clean my ears," Foaly said, buying drinks for himself and Caballine. She touched his cheek affectionately, and Foaly went silly with giggles. Holly rolled her eyes, but Trouble was handing her a drink himself. It was colourful and a bit tangy, but it had a strong kick to it that she liked. She smiled back.

"Thanks."

"Hey, I can at least look like a real date," he said warmly, slipping and arm around her waist. She felt bad for not protesting.

* * *

Artemis was decked out in all Armani. He felt good and he looked good. He had slicked his hair back but had taken care to ensure it didn't look oily. Butler was making the rounds around the gardens, but other than the view from the river, Armani's Waterfall palace was extremely remote. Butler had been over layout maps and even double-checked Google Earth to ensure there were no errors in the maps. Armani's security had even been gracious enough to give him one of their domestic radios to keep him updated on all the palace's goings-on.

Static sounded. "Mr. Butler, the head of Redalucci security wishes to see you. She is coming around the side gate."

A tall blonde was already through the gate, almost soundlessly. She was wearing bug-eyed glasses, leather pants with sterling studs up the sides, cropped-ankle heels, and a tucked in and half-buttoned white fitted shirt. She was graceful as a panther and moves across the garden stealthily. Before she came in earshot, Butler whispered to his charge, "A dangerous woman."

Artemis agreed. In her, he could sense the same meticulous poise of his manservant. When Butler met her mid-stride in the center of the gardens, she breezed right pass him and continued towards Artemis. There were no eyes to look at but, Artemis could feel the heat. She pulled off her glasses, revealing sky-blue eyes that made her look decently bleached, and said in crisp, clean English, "You are Artemis Fowl the Second?"

Artemis smiled with confidence. "Yes. You must be Analexia Cherine Marcelle, the valedictorian of Master Zhou's School of Weapons."

She was surprised, but her composure never broke. She narrowed her eyes. "You are as smart as they say. I am simply here to ensure nothing happens to this business deal. He can try to rough up Audrinne all he wants—she'll fight back, be warned—but I can't have you ruin her business deal in favour of your own."

Artemis leaned forward, lacing his fingers. "What can you offer me, Miss Marcelle?"

"Eighty pounds of gold, or stock options within Redalucci Plastics."

Artemis waved her away and she pouted. "Stock options do not interest me, and, as much as I like gold, the physical transfer of such for do more harm than good. I could do with something less tangible…say, Audrinne's phone number?"

She frowned. "We can change it. We often do. The only other person she calls besides me is her father."

"Not a wise business maneuver, Miss Marcelle. You should have let us pay for that and then changed it at no loss for you. Instead, I shall ask for her SIM card number. I can look it up in the database."

Lexi's eyes narrowed. "How do I know that you won't sell it again?"

"You can simply change SIM cards. Besides, I have other avenues for making money apart from under-handing supermodels." The mischievous twinkle in his eyes made her visibly nervous. She clapped her hand on the table.

"Done. I shall give it to you once the meeting is over."

As if on cue, the radios sizzled to life. "The pair are walking to the gardens now. On the cobbles, passing the fountains…"

The Waterfall police were not very astute. Armani and Audrinne were not walking—they were waltzing. The dancing pair came into view as he spun Audrinne out on one arm, causing the skirt of her sundress to fan out elegantly in the Tuscan sun. She whirled back into his arms and the promenades down the path, changing from a light gavotte to a spirited jive as they came closer. They came into earshot, and Artemis discovered Armani was singing a droll tune as Audrinne tried to mimic him between spells of laughter.

They salsa-ed down to the gate, Armani humming loudly. He picked her up and placed her on the other side of the gate as he quickly opened it. Three more security guards came in and stood in space positions around the gardens, but they were invisible to Audrinne and Armani, who had switched to a makeshift cha-cha.

Artemis was completely arrested by her face bathed in honeyed sunlight and her rich smile splayed marvelously across her face. The chic dress that swept about her figure complemented her perfectly, and the three-inch spikes brought out the muscular curve of her calves. He had been expecting a cute-faced skeleton with less life than a cadaver, and he was watching a moving, living, breathing work of art. She was a Roman statue, done in warm flesh instead of cold marble.

The dance ended as they came face to face, an arm around the other and another straight up in the air. They held until Lexi and the security guards clapped at which point Audrinne came out of her pointed dancing posture and erupted into laughter. Armani chortled happily as he straightened his day suit. He seated Lexi and Audrinne next to himself and sighed contentedly. "Well, thank you very much, _amore_, for making me feel young again I haven't had a good dance partner in years."

She nodded as a thank-you in return and set her eyes on Artemis.

Artemis felt himself freeze. Her eyes were a strange electric green that wasn't coherent with the rest of her face, but the power within them was almost palpable. Butler sat down next to him, and hit him on purpose. The stare was shattered, and Artemis was free.

"To business," Armani said. "Mister Artemis Fowl, this is my beloved muse and self-proclaimed godchild, Audrinne Redalucci. Audrie, this is Artemis Fowl. Quite the accomplished teenager."

"Please to meet you," she said in English, her voice like water pouring into crystal. Artemis expected lighting when she shook his hand, but there was nothing. He managed to mumble, "Hello, Miss Redalucci."

"So! I am considering Audrinne for the opening position for my haute-couture line. It is most important that my show make an impression this year, especially after being upstaged last year by Gaultier and his waif girl."

Audrinne and Lexi exchanged glances, but Armani continued. "What do you think, _Signor_ Fowl? Is my little Audrie going to make my name this year?"

Artemis clicked into business mode. "I should like to see her walk, firstly."

Armani smiled proudly. "Well done. Audrie, take it away."

She lifted herself elegantly from her chair and walked to the end of the garden. Artemis was not impressed. Then she turned sharply on her heel and made eye contact.

She paraded down the invisible runway with such ease and charm to bewitch wood. When she reached the table, she posed twice—once with her hand on her hip, and a second winking and smiling—before turning and prancing back the way she'd come. She had a strong walk and looked absolutely stunning in motion. Artemis cleared is throat as she settled back into her chair, a hopeful look swelling in her face.

"You move amazingly well for someone so young, Miss Redalucci," Artemis said, his tone carefully measured. "You keep your hips in a clean line. I am impressed."

He turned to Armani. "Ultimately it is your call, but I am all in favour." He gestured to Audrinne, who smiled, pleased. "If you want to make an impression, she will make quite the fashion statement. Her youth should stir up some positive remarks as well."

Armani clapped. "It's settled then. Audrinne, you shall open for the haute couture line. That is all I require of you. Take the green path out to the limo garage. You may go home."

She nodded and shook his hand, allowing him to kiss her on the cheek. She thanked Artemis. "Thank you, sir. It was nice to meet you. And you,_Signor_…"

"Butler," he said, shaking her hand delicately. Her wrist was the size of his thumb. She curtsied and rose.

Artemis noted the fear in her eyes. The fright evaporated when Lexi too rose and began to dial a number as she walked out the gate, Audrinne in tow. Artemis watched her go, calculating. Lexi stole a last look over her shoulder, but it wasn't to Artemis.

"I have the SIM number, sir," Butler whispered. He showed Artemis the swatch of paper in his lap. One was the number of a local wireless company's SIM cards, and the other was another set of numbers, arranged like a phone number.

Artemis squinted. "Why are there two numbers?"

Butler smiled wickedly. "Lexi is hot."


	4. Alcohol, Copulating, and Reflecting

**Title:** Elysium

**Author:** damnielle

**Description:**Audrinne Redalucci is seventeen-year-old model about to hit it big in Paris; the stick in the mud is… she's colourblind. She solicits the help of a familiar healer in Vietnam, ultimately leading her to Artemis Fowl, in hopes to pour colour into her future. Before the magical restoration can be performed, Artemis and Audrinne find themselves in possession of an unexpected acquisition: another mouth to feed.

**Pairings:**Artemis/OC, Holly/Trouble, Foaly/Caballine

**Rating:**MA for sexual scenes and themes, language, and general ridiculousness.

* * *

**NOTE:** LEMON FOR THIS CHAPTER WILL BE POSTED HERE. PLEASE WAIT UNTIL FURTHER UPDATES.

* * *

_04. Holly is into Trouble, Artemis and Audrinne conduct alcohol, and Lexi and Butler get to be the awkward parent couple._

There was a girl in Artemis' fifth grade class. She had braids, big round glasses, and always wore jumpers. He'd liked her for quite some time, but all she ever did was bum cookies off of him. Artemis wanted to bum cookies of his own…and Audrinne wouldn't be caught dead in a jumper.

Today was the eve of show day for the Armani models. He had received the confirmation tickets for the show: three front row seats. Minerva was flying in tomorrow morning, and Artemis was not particularly pleased, as he felt business with her was rather concluded. It could just be Audrinne's gravitational attraction distracting him.

Artemis knew he was not the only man who felt compelled to glue his eyes to the young Italian. He and Butler had taken both Audrinne and her guardian, Lexi Marcelle, to dinner several nights this past week, and, much to Artemis' dismay, any passing fellow would stop where they were and look. Traversing the streets was nigh impossible, as word of her presence traveled quickly and the paparazzi even quicker, so they'd stuck to riding to restaurants with notable acquaintances. Audrinne was popular inside them too, and Artemis found himself under-tipping the ogling waiters rushing to serve her.

Audrinne was nice enough, and his original feelings of carnal attractions were blending was an affection for her personality. She was bubbly and optimistic, two things he'd been missing since Holly had rejoined the LEP. Minerva was harsh and cold like himself, so the change was refreshing.

Then there was that conversation he'd had with her that he tucked away to replay over and over in his mind:

"So how did you get into modeling?"

"I fell into it."

"Figuratively?"

"Literally. My brother Dante tripped me into a fountain, and I jumped to my feet beneath the waterfall. Armani saw it, and went straight to my father. Since then…well, I'm too apathetic about my career, I suppose."

"You show a fierce amount of ambition to call yourself apathetic, Audrinne."

"Not to sound cocky, but modeling contracts fall into my lap. I haven't really tried out for a deal, I'm usually asked to do a project. I'm trying not to get too involved in this industry, as it cycles through people pretty quickly and isn't much of a challenge. I'll also be beginning work on a Biochemistry degree from Virginia Tech. I'd figure I'd try something new."

She was trying to get a college degree. Artemis held no value in scholarly achievements, as he'd met college graduates dumber than stink worms, but the effort and application was commendable. And, considering she would most likely be traveling while completing the program, the reward would be all the more impressive.

She was also a lot like him, but that was largely due to Lexi. Lexi was the first to shoot him evil glances in regards to his pathetic subtle advances. Audrinne probably got the same look from Butler, but was clueless as to its meaning. She certainly enjoyed their group rendezvous, but never offered to go on an independent date.

He decided to call her.

He had no time to second-guess himself, as she picked up immediately. "Artemis, Lexi can't make dinner tonight, so it's a no-go. She won't let me go alone…she has a hot date or something. Maybe some other time?"

She sounded harried and in some annoyed haste. He disliked it when he was speaking to someone with no interest in him. "Good afternoon, Audrinne. I am doing excellently this morning. How are you?"

"Artemiiiiiis-uh," she moaned, irritation changing to her perky happiness. "I'm trying to shop for a present for Lucia and Francesca, but I have a feeling the stalkerazzi will being appearing soon. This is why I hate Milan…"

The way she pronounced Italian words was smooth and silky. He switched to Italian. "You could stop by for tea, and I can show you the Polaroids of the complete haute-couture line."

"When did you learn Italian?"

"I am well-versed in many languages, my dear."

"Oh, is that so?" she said in Thai.

"Yes, it is," he replied in Russian. He reverted back to Italian. "Shall I pick you up?"

"Butler there, too?"

"If you want him to, I shall bring him as well."

She laughed. "I don't care. I'm on Vias Servana and Cerano._Arrivederci, Signor_ Fowl."

* * *

Holly and Trouble were having an easier time adjusting than they thought. 

Apparently Foaly and Caballine returning in a drunken horniness had been a better story than her and Trouble sneaking back to his apartment together. After they'd managed to get back without a word, they played dwarven checkers and made some hot rum before dozing off on his couch.

They had decided to quietly start seeing each other on two trivial conditions: they wouldn't tell a soul (save Foaly and Caballine) and Holly wouldn't have to wear any more dresses. Tonight, they had a nice dinner a local bar where the darkness of the dance floor had been enough to shroud Holly's famous face. They were going back to Trouble's apartment to watch another season of Scrubs that Foaly had given them when Trouble pulled out a cleanly wrapped box. He was blushing furiously.

Holly rolled her eyes. "I swear, Trouble, if it's—"

"Open in and quit complaining," he said with a giggle.

She did. It was a pair of black heels. She laughed as he opened the apartment door. "I get it! To go with that dress I wore to the concert. You're a funny one, Trouble."

"I figured you'd get a kick out if it," he said. "Pun fully intended."

"Well, I hate heels. I can't imagine you like them either. So this is a gift neither of us will actually appreciate."

"We might appreciate them more if you were wearing them." He set the booze on the counter and began assembling shot glasses and a shaker.

She slipped out of her uniform boots and buffed a scuffmark off the rounded toe. She replaced the heels with the boots and examined herself before tapping Trouble on the shoulder.

He down the contents of a poorly mixed drink and turned around. "What—oh."

Suddenly, a foreign expression came over his face. Holly hadn't really ever seen anything like it, especially not from Trouble, whose facial expressions were happy, concentrated, and offended. He was snaking his arms around her waist and pulling her closer, that alien expression still present. It was a hybrid of smug, happy, excited, and something else she couldn't name. "Hello, Holly," he said with weird intonation.

And then, as his lips closed over hers, she remembered what that look was and where it had come from.

It was the very same face Artemis had before he and Minerva—

In a sudden powerful move, she rolled out of his grasp and began frantically pouring herself straight, unflavoured dwarven whisky. She emptied the shot and tried to pour another as the alcohol rushed over her, but only got it all over the counter. Yet just as her vision was returning, Trouble's face came in front of her as he thumped her down on the shag rug in his den.

"Relax," Trouble said. "Alcohol isn't going to help. And I hope you'd want to remember everything."

"I do," she said. She took a breath for futile self-control. "Just…nervous."

He was kissing her neck, but suddenly stopped. He seemed almost paranoid. "Is this your…?"

She looked offended. "Don't act so shocked. Virgins still exist below the surface."

"I know. I was unaware they walked among the LEP, considering co-ed college and mixed dorms. You _are_ eighty years old, Holly."

She scowled. "And you're just a bouncing five years younger. How many have you been with?"

"Three, and for two I was drunk as anything. The other was a dare." His eyes became dark and brooding. "Don't get me wrong. While I don't attach the mythical, cosmos-shaking importance to the first time that, say, mystics in the Dark Ages, or natives living under an active volcano might, I _still_ don't think of it as a throwaway nuisance."

Holly poked him playfully. "Aww, he wants meaningful sex! Me, too."

Trouble scowled. "If you want your deflowering to _mean_ something, you _might_ want to, er, donate your virginity to a good cause," he said. "The only people in this world who will appreciate it are taken or unattractive. Unfortunately, society has conditioned all the hot people into thinking sex is a communal ritual."

"Would that be you?"

Her question startled him. "No. I truly like you, Holly."

"So you won't add me to your sack of woes, with the other three girls?"

"Absolutely not."

"You won't leave me, will you?"

He stared her hard in the eyes. "I can't make any promises, Holly. But so long as we both care for each other and never lose sight of the future, I think we can really make this work."

She felt the heat rising and inhaled again, closing her eyes. "Okay. I trust you."

"And that's important," he said, bending back down to kiss her. He ran a muscled hand through her cropped auburn hair and engulfed her in his arms, enfolding her within his embrace. Her lips were clumsy and wild, and he could feel the nervousness alighting in her mind.

She pulled away. "I'm sorry. It's not that I don't like you—"

"Ah, then it _is_ inexperience. Relax, and just follow my lead."

Typical Trouble, commanding every battlefield he ever set foot on. And she was happy to yield him control…

…for the time being.

* * *

Artemis immediately noticed what Audrinne was wearing because it didn't match at all. 

She was wearing a pair of black wide-leg slacks with a taffeta tailored blouse splashed with violet and blue. Her coat was a burgundy, and her shoes were the wrong colour purple. At least her makeup was good.

"Is this a new style? 'Dress yourself in the dark'?"

She smiled sarcastically and kicked off her shoes and tore out of her coat. She then pulled two Chinese hair sticks from the back of her head, and let her blonde curls fall in soft ringlets around her chest. Artemis handed her a martini glass with an expertly mixed Cosmopolitan with a lemon curl floating on top. "I notice you drink only fruity, light liquors. This has a hint of lime and other citrus, plus I left out a good deal of the usual vermouth. You dislike dry wines, so I figured your taste for cocktails would be as thus."

She was clearly impressed, further inflating his ego. "Dry wines? I drank a Chianti last we were out."

"Which I imagine you did purely for the Italian look, as there were photographers at the window. In private, you drink white Zinfandels and when you eat a wet meal, such as the garden salad with chopped teriyaki steak as you did two nights ago, you will have a Merlot. Rarely do you change your drinking habits."

She toasted to him. "Well, thank you for your observance and…ah, what is the English? Passion?"

Artemis chuckled. "Yes, passion."

"May I have a seat?" She went back to Italian.

"Go into the den and have a seat, if you please."

He was rooting through a rack of DVD's as she continued their infant conversation. "Where is Butler? I had expected him to pick me up."

"Butler has an engagement until the morning. I assured him I would be all right to travel solo for the night, though he still thinks I am at the hotel. I expect he should be calling me at random intervals."

She rolled her eyes. "He and Lexi should date. They can be paranoid together."

"Think of the children. They would be too suspicious of the world to function."

Audrinne laughed, and poured herself straight up gin. Artemis watched her drink it. "I'm impressed, Audrinne. You did not seem like a heavy drinker."

"You should see me at night. I'm a hit at parties."

"I can only imagine," he said to himself, straightening. He had a DVD in his fist. "Scrubs, season three?"

"Go for it," she said, handing him the gin.

He popped the DVD in the tray and selected the play button. The intro came on and he noticed that Audrinne had finished the entire bottle of gin. "How are you still conscious?"

She was rummaging through his alcohol cabinet. Then she put her head in her hands. "God, god, god. I didn't even get anything for the girls. Their birthday is tomorrow and I can't be there because of the show." She stood up, as if enlightened on a horrible tragedy. "The show! I have to open for Armani. But you already know, you're the one who got me the job…"

She was already very drunk. Artemis squinted at her. "You came here to get drunk, didn't you?"

"I came here to find someone. Lexi's gone, but even if she was around, she'd tell me to man up." She coughed and took a bottle of Skyy of the shelf. "I don't want to. I'm only eighteen. I never got a normal high school life, and now I can't have a normal college life."

He took the bottle form her and replaced it on the shelf, closing the cabinet door. Squatting on his haunches to look at her, he saw that she was crying. She looked at him. "You ever know what it's like to know that you can't ever go back, no matter what you do?"

Artemis nodded sincerely. "You haven't the slightest, my dear."

She looked back down and the ground and fell against the cabinet in a slump. "Look at me. I'm a mess. Some model I am." She laughed at herself. "This is my life now. And I can't even match my own clothes."

Artemis noted that comment in his head. She put the heels of her hands into her eyes, checking for smudged mascara. It was flaking off heavily. He fixed her a warm washcloth and watched as she chipped away the layers of paint slathered over her face, grinding the pad of the cloth into her cheeks in a circular motion, weeping all the while.

She looked no less beautiful than before, but the beauty had changed from a plastic couture to a minty natural with an inverted glow. She turned to stare blankly at him, her cheeks red and puffy and the washcloth coated in her makeup.

An odd thought fluttered across his mind.

_I could kiss her right now and get away with it._

_That won't end well. You know that. Just go back to Scrubs._

She smiled weakly at him, the corners drooping and wet.

_Then it'll never happen. _

_What of Minerva?_

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this, Artemis."

_She is of little interest to me. _

_Why?_

He kissed her, sweetly but softly. She let him, thankfully but cautiously.

When it ended as all kisses did, she stared at him expectantly. "Well, that was…"

The voice in his head was yelling now, and the regret bubbled out of him. "Oh, my word, Audrinne. I sincerely apologize. I did not mean to…to…to do anything, I am very embarrassed, I—"

"…nice."

"Huh?"

She kissed him back, this time threading her tongue through their lips. She was a very good kisser, a lot calmer and slower than he had expected. Perhaps the alcohol had muted her strength. He cupped her chin in his palm, and felt a tear crash into his thumb.

"Why are you still crying?"

"It's sobering," she said, allowing him to pick her up and carry her out of the room. She was heavier than he had envisioned. She felt him straining and dropped to her feet. "I work out. It's muscle. Or I tell myself that so I don't feel fat."

"You are far from fat, Audrinne. You know that. I wanted to carry you, since I was hoping to add a minute amount of class—"

"I'm drunk. Class has no hope anymore."

He managed to tackle her to the ground and sat lightly on her stomach. She was still crying. He kissed the tear rivulets and whispered against her skin, "Stop crying. I cannot bear it."

Her chest was still twisting form the onset, but the tide had stopped. "I'm sorry, Artemis."

"Do not apologize. But do try to stop. I do not like to see you like this."

"Do you remember when we first met?"

Artemis looked past the alcohol-coated sheen on her eyes. There was a grey ring around the outside of her iris—she was wearing coloured contacts. But his mind drifted back to her question, and he said, "I do."

"You were wearing all Armani."

"So were you. You looked—and look—beautiful."

"I thought you were too good to be true," she mumbled, looking up meekly. "I found you on so many news articles for your academic achievements and awards and I thought that you saw me as a plastic doll."

"You surprised me with your worldliness. I was amazed, Audrinne." He touched her cheek. "I expected a plastic doll and was astonished to learn how wrong I was."

She sniffled. "Did you ever know?"

"Know of what?"

She regrouped in her mind. "When you look in my eyes, can you see it?"

His answer was as elusive as her question. "It's something felt rather than seen. It cannot be arrested to the corporeal."

Neither truly understood what the other was saying, but the moment was beautiful.

(Note from littlefishh: I have chosen to censor this part to keep the rating at M. A full version is available. But for now, you'll get just a summary :D )

He made love to her sweetly. But, try as he might to glimpse her body in the darkness, she clung to the shroud of her clothing, allowing only what needed to be removed to fall away from her. But she was beyond satisfied—for in the throes of pleasure she tasted something wonderful, something that built her high above the world and tore her in two at the same time: COLOUR.

As Artemis rolled away, exhausted and thoroughly spent, she lay beside him, watching him carefully. And in the middle of the night, the tears returned.

She slipped back into her pants and put on her mismatched shoes. She tried putting on her coat, but couldn't find the armholes, and instead dissolved into a miserable heap at the door. A strong hand suddenly fell across her back, followed by a measured, deep voice, "Audrinne?"

"Butler?" she said, looking up, dazed. "Butler, is that you?"

"Audrie," came the next voice, smooth and local.

Audrinne closed her eyes. She was safe. "Oh, Lexi. Please be Lexi."

And with that, she released her feeble grip on the world, and slumped into Lexi's arms.

Lexi caught her expertly, and hefted her to her feet. Butler took her from there and walked the pair to her car, which was parked just outside. As he settled the drunken body into the backseat and closed the door, he noticed now that Lexi was popping a pill out of her bag. She slipped it past Audrinne's lips, and listened for the swallow. Relief washed over the young Frenchwoman, who then turned to Butler.

"This hasn't ever happened before," she said, her voice quavering.

"Was that a morning after pill?"

"I always carry them for the sake of preparedness," Lexi said. "Clearly she isn't as independent as she says."

"You really think—"

"She looks like hell, Butler." Her eyes were suspiciously bright, and she blinked a few too many times as she spoke. "Audrie rarely gets roughed up for no reason, and she's usually in sight when she does. She's drunk, all the lights are off, a movie was on…what else could it be?"

This squared exactly with Butler's opinion, but hearing her say it—particularly in that raw, tired voice—was painful. He shut the door and put a hand on her shoulder. "Lexi…"

"I'm sorry, I'm not crying. I'm just…worried." Hearing herself say it logically seemed to calm her down. "Yes. I'm just worried. As I should be. I will have a stern talk with her tomorrow."

"I wouldn't. Tell her she watched Scrubs with Artemis, got drunk, danced around, and then you two went home. She does not need stress before the show, and nothing will come of it."

She was silent for a long while. The look in her eyes reflected inner turbulence. Finally, she said, "If she and Artemis really did…well, you know…if they did, then that was her first time."

Butler gasped and covered his mouth. This was becoming nastier and nastier as it wound on. "Well, that certainly complicates things."

"I'll feel rotten hiding that from her. And she deserves to know, and I won't have her lying to the man she is truly meant for, him thinking she's a virgin when she isn't."

Butler hugged Lexi close. "Nothing could have happened, for all we know."

"We're bodyguards, Domovoi. We're supposed to assume the worst."

His name sparked an alien tenderness. He kissed her on the head. "I know, Lexi. But, for the sake of fashion and tomorrow, let us say nothing until there is something to say."

She looked at him brightly and collected herself. The tears on her cheeks transformed her; she was pretty anyways, but, in that moment, she transcended the very waking earth. "Okay. I trust you."

"And that's important," he said, kissing her gently.


	5. 35000 hits, Die Another Day, and Smiling

**Title:** Elysium

**Author:** damnielle

**Description:**Audrinne Redalucci is seventeen-year-old model about to hit it big in Paris; the stick in the mud is… she's colourblind. She solicits the help of a familiar healer in Vietnam, ultimately leading her to Artemis Fowl, in hopes to pour colour into her future. Before the magical restoration can be performed, Artemis and Audrinne find themselves in possession of an unexpected acquisition: another mouth to feed.

**Pairings:**Artemis/OC, Holly/Trouble, Foaly/Caballine

**Rating:**MA for sexual scenes and themes, language, and general ridiculousness.

* * *

_04. Audrinne finds a solution to her grey eyes, then rocks the Armani show, but Artemis is about to foil everything_

Audrinne felt like someone had hit her in the head with a hammer. And she disliked the alliteration.

Like all hung over models, the first thing she did was attempt to fight fire with fire. She fixed herself a screwdriver, but dumped it down the sink as vomit thundered up her windpipe. She exploded out of her mouth and straight into the sink, and hung there for a few minutes, just happy to be purged. Then she washed out the washbasin and took a few experimental swallows of water. They sloshed lazily down her throat before adamantly exiting again. She slumped over and let the faucet run on her face.

"I feel terrible," she announced to no one.

Lexi yelled somewhere in the apartment. "Audrie! Audrie!"

"Here, here," she said weakly, and Lexi clopped into the kitchen, presumably in heels.

In a frighteningly automatic fashion, she demanded, "Did you throw up?"

Audrinne looked at her through the sopping tendrils of her hair and said flatly, "No."

"I'll get the peroxide."

Audrinne moaned and thumped down on a stool. Lexi returned and made her gurgle three mouthfuls of hydrogen peroxide before she shoved Audrinne into the shower. At last, in the solitude of the warm water and heavy mist, Audrinne began to assemble the fractured memory of last night at Artemis' apartments.

She never dreamed of having a 'last night' memory. As a born-and-bred Catholic, sex was supposed to be for couples joined in marriage, not drunk-off-their-asses singles supposed to be watching Scrubs.

Then again, she herself was born out of wedlock. All other Redalucci children were born within the spiritual ties of marriage except for her. Her parents only decided to marry when they discovered Maya was pregnant; Audrinne felt like their blessing and their curse, since most people who asked them about their children did the math and chalked up one child to a night of alcoholic passion. Her father had told her specifically that she was not at all a disgrace—in fact, she was the furthest thing from it. "You are young, beautiful, successful, driven, and a joy to your mother and I," he had said. "The circumstances of your birth are irrelevant. We love you no matter what, Audrie."

She certainly hoped so. She wasn't going to tell her parents about it anyways. You never get pregnant on the first time.

First time…

_Yes, it was my first time._

She recalled the painful pop as Artemis slid home; had it not been for that blip of pain, the entire memory would be completely lost. And she didn't want to lose it, not just for the novelty of recollecting her first time, but because of the experience she spiraled into when she finally reached the threshold.

_That was _colour.

She remembered being thrown into that endless sea of splashes, their texture and quality just nameless from lack of exposure. Colour appeared to her in whorls of indescribable wonder, twisting and screaming through her mind in an acidic and nearly ancient method, sending conflicting signals throughout her head. Her eyes denounced their presence, but her memory burned it into her brain forever.

_Imagine if you could see the entire world like that._

The thought startled her and she accidentally squirted too much shampoo in her palm. She quickly lathered and rinsed, hastily drying off with the near by floor mat. She scrambled to her Juicy Couture Sidekick, and began hammering away on the keyboard, searching for something, anything…

Audrinne had her eyes examined when she was a child; she was medically colourblind, but, when Armani signed her to his agency, her father conveniently deleted the information. She always thought that he shouldn't have since she had complete colourblindness, but both her parents and Lexi seemed particularly obstinate about keeping the entire thing under wraps. She saw in only black and white said her doctors, but she had no concept of that, even. There was shadow and light, the dark and the illuminated, the lucid and the clear. There was no middle ground, though the shades of grey were certainly the middle of something. She couldn't even give a comparison.

Colourblindness is allegedly hereditary. So is eye colour. Any breathing Redalucci has full-colour vision and neon-green irises. But not Audrinne.

Audrinne felt alone as she waited for a page to load. The only child born out of wedlock, the only one with grey eyes, the only one with no colour. The only one.

She shook her head. She didn't want to think about it.

Most web sites said it was incurable or temporary, and used many illegal drugs. All operations had success rates under ten percent, were extremely expensive, and did not come from top-rated doctors. Some didn't even have MD's. She changed her search: "Colourblind healer pay US dollars".

35,000 matches. She started sifting.

* * *

Lexi was extremely on edge. She thought it was bad enough, and then her pen quit working just as she was signing Audrinne in. She popped a hole through the clipboard in a fury. 

Lexi watched as Audrinne lowered herself into the hair and make-up chair, smiling and the beautician washing her makeup brushes. Audrinne had to have special brushes that didn't agitate her skin, and were black with two white vertical stripes so she could distinguish them herself. The colourblindness made Audrinne into a sick puppy sometimes. She had to be constantly watched over, less she do something stupid. She made fashion history with the green scarf she wore with her yellow outfit last month; luckily, the tabloids picked it up as a hot trend, and clashing colours was in style now. Audrinne was temporarily safe.

She tried, though. She really tried. She knew Lexi got tired of dressing her and shadowing her to see her colours, so she'd try to do things on her own. In the end, Lexi was happier to guide her instead of watch her fail from afar.

The head model of the entire Armani chain was a Czech woman named Adelina Givanaslova. She greeted Audrinne warmly and they chatted for a few minutes, waiting for the rest of the models to arrive. Audrinne was already being fitted when the set list was complete. Adelina called to everyone in her beautiful accent, "Come on, we've got a show to do!"

All the girls cheered and began rushing into their outfits. Audrinne was at the foot of the runways stairs, ready to go. There was an hour still left. Lexi bounded over to her, and Audrinne smiled. "I'm really excited, Lex."

"I know," she said warmly. She tried to say something else, but the words died in her throat.

"Is Artemis here?"

"I'll go check for you. Stay here."

"Audrinne! Come here for your Polaroids!"

She touched Lexi's arm. "Tell me if he is. And if you see Armani or Papa, don't tell them where I am. And if Dante brought that stupid stalker friend of his, don't tell him I'm first walk."

"Gotcha," she said, and was off, out to investigate the crowds.

* * *

Artemis sat in the middle of Butler and Minerva, happily perched on the front row of the lines of chairs. Butler had switched positions with Minerva twice now, and that was only added to her anxiety. She had wanted to attend Christian Lacroix's fashion show, but Artemis offered her front row tickets to the Armani run instead. It was an offer she couldn't refuse. 

Artemis said nothing of how she looked, even though she had bought this particular Armani dress specifically for this event, since she owned no other Armani clothes. Artemis and Butler were in matching Armani suits and loafers with striped cyan ties. Artemis was particularly edgy today. Minerva lightly stroked his arm, and said, "Dear, what is the matter? You seem fidgety."

He lazily shook her off. "Come, now, Minerva. This is not the place for PDA."

A line of people was now filing in opposite the runway, all with dark black hair and startling green eyes. Artemis recognized them at once: the house Redalucci.

Artemis profiled them at once. First was the matron of the household, Maya Redalucci, holding the baby, Marvalone. She reminded him of Audrinne in every way possible—her poise was strong, her walk elegant, and her control of her surroundings blatant but not pressing. She had on a famous Armani ladies' dress, one with an Oxford top and quarter-length sleeves. Marvalone was fast asleep in the cradle of her arms.

Following her were the twins, Francesca and Lucia. He didn't know them apart, but they were certainly excellent duplicates of each other, and both were hitting each other with the ribbon tails of their bowtie dresses. Maya ushered them into their seats and gave Marvalone to one of them, and they commenced fussing over him, too.

Two other boys sat on opposite sides of them. The elder, presumably Ettorio, unbuttoned the front of his jacket and settled uncomfortably into his chair while his brother, Aurelius, began mixing formula for the baby. Both boys smiled proudly when Master Redalucci walked in.

Dante Ettorio Redalucci was a muscled Italian man with an aura of solid power. Butler let a protective eye linger on him as he came across and kissed his wife, who beamed the signature Redalucci grin in return. He ruffled Ettorio's hair and touched the twins on each nose before greeting his neighbours.

"One is missing," Artemis said to Butler.

"Two," Butler replied. "Audrinne and Dante are not here."

Suddenly all of the Redalucci's turned towards the curtains of the stage and waved. Audrinne was peeking through the mid-traveler, apparently in conversation with Dante, who was standing nearby, flicking through her sidekick. The twins instantly put Marvalone down and ran to her, yelling, "It's my birthday! It's my birthday!"

She squatted to meet them, and Artemis read her lips. "And happy birthday to you both, my girls. I have your present in my apartments, so as soon as work is over, I'll come by and celebrate with you. What flavour cake did you decide on?"

The twins were facing away from him, so he could no longer lip-read. She laughed and kissed them both before strangely allowing them through the curtains. Artemis and Butler exchanged looks. She rose and said to Dante, "I'm telling you only because I can't tell Lexi and I need someone to know in case something happens. Please tell me you won't let this slip."

"Your secrets are not kept in ill confidence, Audrie," he said. "You will have to explain to Mother and Papa at some point. And then there's Lexi…if this does work, you'll have to explain to her why you want to move out."

"It's just a guess, Dante," she said. She rubbed her temples. "But no more of that. I have a runway to slam."

And with that, she disappeared into the wings.

Artemis and Butler nudged each other, but, before anything could be said, the lights began to dim. An undulation of polite clapping swept over the audience and Minerva leaned in and said, "Where are we going after this?"

Artemis almost jumped. He had forgotten she was there. "Let's just enjoy the show," he said, irritated.

Before the show, Artemis had managed, through clever talking and distractions, to get a hold of one of the backstage radios. He wired the earpiece on, and put a Bluetooth earbud over it. It blended perfectly, however uncomfortable. He silently switched it on.

"Hold steady the twins!" said a voice with a thick Russian accent. "Hold until Cue zero!"

'Interesting,' he thought. 'The twins are pre-opening.

"And…cue zero!"

The lights flickered and swirled about angrily, but in the thunder strobe light, he caught the outline of two small figures making their way down the runway. The spotlights fell on them, and, surely enough, it was the Redalucci twins, both with large red dots of blush painted onto their doll-like faces. They were holding a basket full of bright silver confetti and they were tossing it elegantly onto the runway. When they reached the end, the music changed, and Artemis heard, "Cue two!"

They began to fight, coating the runway in confetti as they recessed slowly. Suddenly, a long bang sounded, and the lights went off, then came back on, silver lights on the twins and on the light board at the entrance of the runway. A shape was etched into the shadows there.

It was an outline of Audrinne.

"Cue three!" The twins screeched and ran off into the curtains, issuing a cloud of silver mist in their wake.

"Stand-by on Audrinne," the Russian woman said testily.

"Audrinne, standing by," said one of the backstage managers.

"Cue music track two!" A remixed version of Madonna's _Die Another Day_ came on and rattled the room with the jacked up bass. "And…cue Audrinne! Go, go, go!"

Audrinne appeared on the silver-coated runway. Her outfit was too beautiful to be haute-couture: white socks with silver spirals running from toe to just over the knee, a tight leather leotard unzipped to her bust line, and ribbons lashed all around her arms. Some of the ribbons threaded through her jumpsuit and pulled the edges up. The entire outfit was a splash of silver against the gold backdrop. The world fell out from under Artemis' feet as she began her strut to the end of the runway.

_Sigmund Freud… analyze THIS._

Artemis could see her tanned and toned muscles working as she walked in those sky-high heels. Her blonde hair was spiraling behind her in loose curls. As she glided past, he could have sworn she turned her head the slightest bit to smirk at him.

_I'm gonna break the cycle._

But in an instant, the smirk was gone and she was posing for the camera at the end of the runway. No one could clap…it was too haunting, too momentous, too gorgeous.

_I'm gonna shake up the system._

"Yes, Audrinne, strong and smooth and sexy! Finish out!"

_I'm gonna destroy my ego._

She stopped before she disappeared, and posed fiercely, as if ready for battle. Then Artemis noticed her eyes; they too were silver. The fire in them was hot and real, but they were irrefutably silver.

_I'm gonna close my body now._

Other models followed her out, but Artemis had already lost interest. That was certainly something he wouldn't easily forget. The technical directors were chattering on the line, but he could only hear the buzz of the lyrics Audrinne exited with.

"_I'm gonna close my body now_," he said to himself. "Audrinne is colourblind."

* * *

Audrinne walked four other outfits, but nothing was as epic as that first walk. She tried to ask for Armani's word, but he was unreachable, probably immersed in the show. She would have been too... but her Internet search had at least yielded her a result worthy of her consideration. 

'_Irish businessman will pay large amount of U.S dollars to meet a fairy, sprite, leprechaun, pixie.'_

Sure, it sounded weak. The forum thread had hundreds of replies, but the parent user had only replied to one.

_'We'll be in touch,'_ the user had said.

The forum was now locked and no more replies could be posted. She highlighted the replier's username and ran a search on it. A certain 'Mr. Nguyen' from Ho Chi Minh City came up. Audrinne scowled. She's been there once before for a charity event, and just about every man's name was Nguyen. By cross-referencing his email with another forum, which had his matching ID number, she determined the email was legitimate, and composed a short message using one of her Gmail accounts.

"Mr. Nguyen—I have heard that you can get me in touch with a fairy healer. I am an Italian publicist and also very interested in potential interaction with said healer for personal reasons. Please contact me so we may negotiate something."

She hesitated before posting her real cell-phone number on the bottom. She encrypted the message and sent it before being called into hair and makeup again.

As they sloughed off layers of the caked-on makeup, she ignored the beauticians showering her with praise. All she could think about was a combination of the colours of last night and the potential to have that vision in everything she did. When the heavy couture concealer and eye liner was off and the normal red-carpet stuff was safely and beautifully in its place, she jumped into her custom dress and found a pair of show heels she liked.

Armani was already posing for magazine shots with Adelina on a podium in the middle of the carpet. When Audrinne awkwardly stumbled out into the crowd, camera flashes and people screaming for her to look at them immediately greeted her. Her instincts kicked in, and she froze, plastering a smile on her face. Microphones from every direction encircled her, but one of Armani's security guards was guiding her to the podium for exclusive shots of the designer, his lead model, and his opener.

She smiled aimlessly and kissed Armani on the cheek. He nearly shook her to piees. "Audrinne, you have made me the happiest man on Earth. I could die happy, but I want you to open more shows first."

"I'm honored, sir," she laughed, now embracing him.

Adelina bounced happily over, squeaking in her high voice, "Oh, Audrie, I wish you could've had an out-of-body experience. You were fabulous. It was beyond anything I come have ever seen!"

Her English needed work, but she was genuinely happy for her and kissed her on both cheeks. "Come. We must take this carpet together."

"Adelina, over here!"

"Adelina! Please come smile for us!"

"Audrinne! Adelina, please! Over here to us!"

In the bright flashes of the camera lenses, Audrinne once again felt lost. But the tiny flicker of hope resting in her sidekick processed her loneliness in to impatience. She was on the verge of discovery and—

"Audrinne! Adelina! Smile!"

She did.

* * *

A/N: Thanks a ton RedhandedReader :D :D :D :D :D

xoxo--Audrinne

* * *


	6. Reply, Saigon, and Tracking

**Title:** Elysium

**Author:** damnielle

**Description:**Audrinne Redalucci is seventeen-year-old model about to hit it big in Paris; the stick in the mud is… she's colourblind. She solicits the help of a familiar healer in Vietnam, ultimately leading her to Artemis Fowl, in hopes to pour colour into her future. Before the magical restoration can be performed, Artemis and Audrinne find themselves in possession of an unexpected acquisition: another mouth to feed.

**Pairings:**Artemis/OC, Holly/Trouble, Foaly/Caballine

**Rating:**MA for sexual scenes and themes, language, and general ridiculousness.

* * *

_06. Audrinne gets a reply in regards to the healer, manages to sneak around Lexi, and shoots herself._

Artemis was, in short, quite finished with Minerva.

After the fashion show, he had managed to get a phone call through to Audrinne. Minerva caught him and Audrinne heard her over the line. Now both were not interested in seeing him anymore.

It was of little consequence to the Irish genius. Without a girlfriend, be her fashion model or child prodigy, he was free to pursue projects of his own, such as publishing more psychology papers, scamming money off of the new PayPal system using script loops, finishing the designs of the new opera house in Dublin, and beating the Rubik's cube record by three seconds. He was certainly famous in his own mind, but now he was gaining popularity in the B-list world red carpet.

His new deal with Armani only furthered his career, even though it put him in a position to tear the fashion industry to pieces. It was a weak and superficial framework of alliances and back-stabbers that would instantly vaporize if the right strings were pulled. But frankly, he was respecting its fragility out of pity for the old Italian designer and his beautiful muse.

He had kept a loose eye on Audrinne ever since their encounter in his apartments. He read the magazine stories she posed for, took satellite pictures of her ads on Broadway, and watched her on the talk shows she appeared on. She seemed fluent in English, Italian, Spanish, French, and Thai, but only had accent problems with English. Her interviewers thought it was absolutely charming, so she richened her accent with every show.

"What was it like, walking in Paris at age fifteen?"

"It is an honor! I am vair proud of myself, en, I work vair hard, en, I am happy…happy to see that it shows in the work that I do."

Her smile was cute and bubbly, and that face had become the world's wallpaper. She began topping out all lists for 2009, and, by the summer, had tied Gisele Bündchen for Forbes 'World's Highest Paid Supermodel'. Her estimated worth had risen from thirty million to fifty million in just four weeks; that alone was enough to set records.

Artemis was mildly happy for her, though seeing her run about the globe in silly outfits to earn money gave him humour. He was earning money right now, simply by sitting in his balcony seat, overlooking the Fowl Manor grounds and having a cup of Earl Grey imported from Sri Lanka. He often thought of her when a breeze blew through the trees and startled the birds so that they flew in thick packs over the countryside, twittering and chirping amongst themselves. She, like the birds, was easily distressed and often had a lot of inner conflict going on to see how truly blessed she was.

He pointed a remote at the foot of the nearest column, and one of Foaly's gaseous light screens rose out of the marble. He had managed to talk the centaur into letting him have one since he was a part-time LEP consultant. Foaly's new budget had made him generous. He entered a search for her name, and a list of programs came up, all mostly titled 'INTERVIEW WITH AUDRINNE REDALUCCI'. Only one of them was available for viewing—Audrinne appearing on Craig Ferguson's Late Late Show last night. He selected it.

Craig Ferguson was a Scottish host who was somewhat renown for his quirky habits and candid questions. He was excellent at one-liners. Artemis settled happily into his chair, expectations high.

The segment began somewhere into the middle of the show and cut Ferguson off mid-sentence. "—next guest is the very young and very beautiful supermodel, who recently opened a tremendous fashion show for Armani. Please welcome…Miss Audrinne Redalucci!"

The camera panned across to a set of red curtains, parting to let her in. Artemis had never seen her in the same outfit, and this was no exception. It was—of course—Armani, as he was still front-lining most of her public image. The blue dress had a wide belt that cinched her waist to a thin point, and matched her black heels. Her hair was simply curled and half-pinned back out of her face. She was smiling, and Artemis felt himself smirk in its glow.

Craig greeted her with two kisses on the cheeks and seated her politely. The crowd was cheering, most of the men jumping out of their chairs and hollering at her. When the clapping died off, Craig sat down and scooted towards her. "Well, well," he said. "Um, hi?"

"_Buon giorno_," she said, giggling. The audience laughed too.

"Hi," he said again, garnering more laughs. He was rapt as he stared at her. "I'm sorry, I feel stupid once again…you pretty woman types always do this to me…"

She laughed. "Oh, _Signor _Ferguson. I did not mean to make you nervous."

"It's late for that, love," he said, shrugging. "You look absolutely stunning—Armani, I'm guessing?"

"Yes, this is a special piece from the fall collection," she said, picking up a piece of the fabric with her fingers. "In the fashion show, Adelina wore this dress, and today I decided I would try it."

"Well, you look beyond words, Miss Redalucci, absolutely…am I drooling? No? Good. I feel like I am, I'm sorry…" He seemed to steady himself, and asked. "How often do you hear men babble on about how lovely you are, like I am?"

Another laugh. "Many times. But you are the first I hear with an accent like you have."

"Do you get any comments on yours? You have a beautiful Italian accent, it's absolutely charming."

"Oh, thank you! I am still learning to speak English. You have many words in English. I hope to learn many. Maybe I can learn to talk like you, with your funny endings."

"Oh, funny endings, eh?"

"Yes," she giggled. Artemis felt a bit self-conscious of his own English. "But I love accents. They are very attractive."

Artemis noted this.

"If that gets me extra points, I'll take them," Craig said warmly. "So you opened for Giorgio Armani—and it says you've been with Armani since you were fourteen—and now he is attributing his award-winning show to you as his opener, eh?"

"Yes, that is what he says," she said meekly, putting a delicate hand to her cheek.

"Let's roll that clip, shall we?"

Artemis looked away. He would not have himself bewitched a second time. When the audience started cheering again, he returned to the program, a bit put off.

"Wow," Craig said. Artemis noted the incredulity in his eyes. "So you began modeling for Armani when you were…what, fourteen?"

"Yes, fourteen."

"How did that happen?"

"My brother, Dante, and I were having an argument, and he pushed me into a fountain, and when I got out of the fountain, _Signor_Armani went to my father and asked to let me model." She tucked a stand of blonde hair behind her ear. "And now I am getting here."

"Your father let you?"

"He is business partners with him, so yes. He did not like me being on the runway so young, but as soon as I made headlines, he was okay with it."

"Do you talk to your family while you are out and about and modeling?"

"Oh, yes, I talk with them a lot, especially Dante—"

"As thanks for shoving you in the fountain and starting your career?"

She laughed. "Yes, I owe it all to him. My twin sisters were the flower girls of the fashion show I was in, so yes, I see them and talk with them very much."

"Isn't it nice to have someone to talk to while on the road, like your family? I never get to speak with my folks unless I'm in the area."

"I bring Lexi with me. She is my agent and bodyguard, and she is my dear friend, you say here." The camera panned off-stage to Lexi, who waved feebly. Audrinne smiled and waved in her direction. "I need Lexi very much. She is a good help with fashion."

"You seem to be doing very well in fashion, yes," Craig said. He scooted even closer. "Now I have heard a rumour…I heard you were engaged to Hayden Christensen."

Artemis sat forward in his chair. This was certainly unexpected. The audience roared and she shrank back a little. "Oh, no, _Signor_Ferguson, we are only friends."

"Well, this is the second supermodel who hasn't been engaged when I heard they were engaged!" He ran a hand through his hair. "Adriana Lima wasn't engaged either, and I had heard that you and Hayden were engaged, and you are not?"

"No, certainly no," she said, laughing. "I have never been engaged, _Signor_."

"Craig, please, call me Craig," he chuckled. "You are only friends? Are you dating him at all?" She shook her head, smiling. "Are you dating anyone at all?"

"No," she said. She became serious. "I am seeing many men, but I have not found a boyfriend yet."

"Ooh! So Hayden is a man you see? Who else do you see?"

She laughed shortly, and said, "I see a singer named Jason Reeves because he is writing a song for a show I will do, and I see Hayden because he is a wonderful actor, and I see Orlando Bloom because he is very calm. I like that in men."

"I'm pretty calm and I have an accent," Craig said. "Maybe you can start seeing me, too, huh?"

She laughed. "Yes, maybe you too!"

Artemis watched the rest of the show, but it was small talk punctuated with some of Craig's contrite pick-up maneuvers. He was thinking of the other men she was seeing. If she was seeing all of them in the same way she had seen him, then…

…well, it made him a little jealous.

He had no reason to be jealous. He was drunk. She was drunk. There was no attraction between them that was spiritual in nature. It was a one-night stand, and now it was over, and he was to move on with his life.

_Then why do I freeze when she smiles like that?_

_Because she's beautiful and you are a nineteen year old boy. She slept with you and that's it; that is all you can expect from her._

'That's it,' he said. 'I can no longer concern myself with her. I have things to do.'

And he shut off the screen, and went inside to do more research.

* * *

Five weeks after she sent the email, she got a response.

Audrinne almost wept out of joy. Five weeks. The colours were fading from her memory, and the reply came just in time.

Her phone rang at six in the evening, conveniently while Lexi was out for the night (with Butler, Audrinne imagined, since they had been staying in Dublin for a charity event and fashion open house for EDUN and her midnight excursions often took eight hours or more) and she opened it lazily. _"Ciao_, this is Audrinne."

The voice on the other end spoke clean English, but it reminded Audrinne of London. "Hello, Miss Redalucci. This is Mr. Nguyen."

She dropped the phone, then pounced on it voraciously. "Hello, sir. I am glad that you were able to get in contact."

"As am I, milady. I would like to tell you that I am still able to get you in contact with the healer. We are in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, if you are still interested," he said. She fought the urge to cry.

"I am very interested," she said with all the composure she could manage. She switched him to speakerphone and began texting Lexi as he spoke—she was asking for the dates of Lexi's next time-off.

"We must negotiate a price, then. The last time I accepted an offer like this, I was paid twenty thousand. That was years ago. My starting price is fifty-thousand."

Audrinne almost accepted at once, but she knew she was being conned. She took a breath to steady herself. "That is a bit high, good sir. I will pay an inflated price for your troubles, but my threshold will be at about thirty-five."

There was a long, uncomfortable pause over the line. Before Audrinne could raise her offer, he broke the silence with, "You are the famous Italian model, are you not?"

There was no use hiding. Perhaps it would give her a leg-up. "Yes, I am. What does that factor?"

"It means that the extra money will be a labor cost, to ensure I seal my lips," he said. She could practically hear the smirk.

Lexi texted back: "Next Sunday evening through Monday night—appointment then Judo. Why?" Audrinne replied with, "Going to go fencing with Dante and Etty," to which Lexi replied, "I'll mark it. :D"

But Audrinne had been extorted before. This was her game. She didn't know Vietnamese, but, in perfect Thai, she said, "Sir, you made this phone call to a phone SIM that I change regularly. As soon as this has ended, I shall ask for another card. If you announce to the world that I was in the pursuit of some kind of unnatural healing, I will simply deny it and pull SIM records to make you out as a stalker. And, you were silly enough to neglect taping this conversation because you are in a public place. I can hear the barman in the background. Attempting to squeeze money from me because I am a supermodel is not going to work."

He sighed. "I suppose you're right. I will take your thirty-five thousand, in cash, along with an autographed Polaroid."

"I shall take the Polaroid here in Milan," she said. She was not in Milan, but it made little difference to him.

"I wanted a picture of the two of us," he protested.

"Please, Mr. Nguyen, for the sake of our careers, I must decline." Audrinne could be very professional when she so chose.

"Understood. When are you available?"

"This coming Monday at noon."

"Excellent. I shall meet you at the Café Mirroire at noon this Monday." Audrinne expected an abrupt click as the conclusion to the conversation but, before he hung up, he said, "I am absolutely delighted to meet you, Miss Audrinne."

The thought made her stomach turn.

* * *

Today was the day.

It was too late for Audrinne to turn back. She was already on a private flight to Ho Chi Minh City, along with a Japanese J-Rock band she had faintly heard of. They were covered in make-up, and she sat in the furthest seat from them, trying to ignore them as they stared. She had bought a Vietnamese language book in the terminal and was going over simple phrases and grammar. She wasn't in a studious mood, so the words were not sticking.

She had left at a flight at seven in the evening that connected in Ankara and Hong-Kong. It was a seventeen-hour red-eye. She was not pleased at all; had she scheduled in advance, she would have been able to secure her own speed jet and a direct flight that took perhaps twelve hours. The new wing designs and matter compressors drastically reduced flight times.

She felt rotten for sneaking out on Lexi. She had packed entirely behind her back, cashed thirty-five grand in six different increments to prevent the bank from being suspicious, and ran off to the airport. Thankfully, she was able to phenagle her way onto a semi-private jet, so her belongings were not checked over, and the cash was safe. She felt like she was eloping.

When they at last touched down, she dropped her things off at the apartment, and immediately set off to find the restaurant. According to her maps, it was on Dong Khai Street and, according to her watch, she was just barely on time.

It was late April in the Vietnamese town, which put them at the beginning of the dry season. It was sweltering hot. Audrinne had packed only white since Lexi was not with her, and luckily she was already wearing a sundress with a light sprinkling of beaded designs along the bottom. She was wearing her Steven Madden Redalucci heels in white vinyl, and her height and fair skin tone attracted a bit of attention. Like many other teenagers zooming around the street, she had a backpack on with several dangling key chains. To further blend in, she rented a moped form a local vendor and scootered out into the streets.

Saigon was a busy place. It reminded her of an oriental New York in that the brick walls were covered in advertisements and the curbs were thick with shopkeepers. Most of shops looked collapsible or were half-collapsed. She stopped by a few to purchase fresh produce and a pair of knock-off ivory earrings painted with Chinese symbols.

"It means luck," the tenant said in Thai, hoping she'd buy.

She looked at them closer. "No, this one means good health. Three dollars."

She held up the money. The American green drove him almost wild. "Yes, yes! Three dollar!"

She put them in her backpack and continued on down the street, still acclimating herself to the moped's throttle and the odd flow of traffic in the streets. She was thankful for her Armani bug-eyed glasses, as they served her good defense against the sun's burning rays.

When at last she reached the Café, she was surprised to find there was a line to be seated. In the movies, most exchanges were done at shady, backwater places, not bumbling joints downtown. She checked the Vietnamese against her maps. This was certainly the place…

She padlocked her moped to a crowded motorbike stand and begrudgingly got on line. 'I'm being haughty,' she said to herself. 'Being a supermodel has made me into a snob. This is a grounding experience. I will remember exactly where it is I came from.'

But before she had stood there for even a minute, she felt a hand on her waist. She immediately knocked it away and whirled around. Before her was presumably Mr. Nguyen, for he was wearing a casual cotton suit and had gold-rimmed glasses and a Rolex. He offered her his arm. "You look lovely, Audrinne. Do come and walk."

She took it and stepped into the street. She touched the side pouch of her pack and felt for the pocketknife. She felt assured to know it was there, and that Lexi had given her numerous self-defense courses over the years. Fencing with Dante and her father helped too, but the blade was a good bit shorter than training swords. But, assuming she had time to get cover, she had placed a compact semi-automatic Smith & Wesson .45 ACP in her main pouch.

"Do you have the money?"

"That depends. Do you have my healer?"

"Oh, she has always been here, even after my last client came. She has moved districts, but she is here, nonetheless. She heals for gold. If you did not bring any, I have some you may borrow."

"I have a miniature ingot on my person." It was in her right boot.

"Is your money there, too?"

Audrinne handed him a Polaroid. It was one she took using a timer—she was laying stomach-down on a roughed up bed, her lips drawn into a limp pout. She was wearing only underwear. She signed it and kissed it with lipstick. Mr. Nguyen was very pleased.

"You have a stunning body, Audrinne," he said huskily, turning down a narrow street.

"It's Miss Redalucci, sir. There is a one-hundred dollar bill taped to the other side."

He turned it over. "Excellent. I will take you to the healer. But, if you have a concealed weapon, draw them now. This row is lined with pick-pockets and gang watchers."

She drew only the pocketknife but he drew a revolver. The glittering eyes of the alleyway backed away, but continued to shadow their step as they made their way to the end of the street. In the slanted light of the slum, Audrinne saw that a wooden house had been erected in the corner with an inverted roof, complete with curved tiling and Buddhist jade. Mr. Nguyen ascended the six stairs and knocked three times. Instantly, a ratty voice screeched, "Who is it?"

He motioned for her to respond. She said clearly in Italian, "I am Audrinne of the House Redalucci. I am in search of a healer."

"Gold?" the voice came, now in Italian.

Audrinne pulled the tiny ingot from her ankle. She slipped it under the door. Whatever was on the other side scrabbled at the floor for a moment, then was silent. Finally, it said, "Please come in, Miss Redalucci."

The door swung open. Beyond it, Audrinne could see nothing but dust and darkness. She stopped in the doorway, stuck her head in, and panned around. The voice yelled shrilly in her right ear. "Now! Hurry! The light is not a friend to me."

Nguyen stopped her. "The money."

She dropped to her knee and unzipped her backpack. She was careful not to let the alley cats see that folds of American bills within as she took out her bushel of pomegranates and earrings. She cocked the Smith & Wesson before zipping the entire thing shut, and kicking it to him. "It was a pleasure, sir."

He smiled greedily and reached up for the pack. As his hand extended, she leveled the handgun and fired.

He recoiled in fear and all the people in the street fled in opposite directions. "You shot my hand! Why did you do that?"

"Hollow points," she said simply, walking into the darkness. When he examined his arm, he found that he was unscathed, but Audrinne's autographed photo had a smoking hole through the center, rendering it utterly worthless, yet somehow strangely beautiful.

Butler was driving to downtown Dublin when Lexi, after five solid minutes of digging through her purse, said, "Dammit, I left the tickets in the hotel. We have to go back. That was certainly stupid of me."

"No problem. It's just a few streets back." He turned around briskly. He saw Lexi shaking her head in disappointment out of his peripheral vision. "Don't sweat it, Lexi. We were busy all day."

"I should have just brought them with me last night, but I was an idiot. Oh well," she said, hoping out of the car. "I'm sorry, Domovoi."

They walked up the stairs, chatting mindlessly. Lexi always had something to talk about. Her conversation had the mild-tempered nature of his younger charge but the fiery spirit of a woman. She smiled more often than Artemis did, and that's what he notice about her the most.

Lexi swiped the card-key and opened the door. The place was lit up, but it seemed strangely barren. The beds were unmade, but only one suitcase was propped up on the table and the bathroom was too clean to be housing two women in the fashion industry. Lexi froze. "She's gone."

"I thought you said she was flying in to Milan to see her family?"

She relaxed slightly, but not much. She turned to him. "You've been with Artemis since birth, no?"

"Since he was very small, yes."

"I have been with Audrinne less, only since she was nine and I was eighteen. But I still have the guardian's instinct, and something is wrong. She is not here, nor in Milan. And she would have left a note to be polite."

Butler knew exactly what that felt like. Artemis had a nasty habit of disappearing just when his intuition told him something was amiss. Lexi was already speed-dialing Master Dante Redalucci, so he pulled out his cell-phone and called his employer, who picked up after half a ring. "Yes, Butler?"

"Audrinne is gone and Lexi suspects something. Can you see if she is in Milan?"

"Yes," he said. Artemis was hammering on the computer keys. "The satellite is reading slow today, so it may take a moment."

Lexi had gotten through to Master Dante. "Master Redalucci, sir? It's Lexi. Is Audrinne in Milan?" Her face melted in a frown, an expression of utmost fear and anxiety gripping her. "She was supposed to be, but I think she has gone out for the night. I shall report back when I have found her. This is no cause for alarm, sir. Tell Dante the Younger she will be unable to make their fencing appointment." Pause. "No contact of any kind was made? Alright. Thank you sir, and _buon notte_."

She shut the phone. "She's not in Milan. She never asked Dante to fence. She has run off."

Artemis scratched his head. "You are right. She is certainly not in Milan with her brothers; Dante is sleeping with a girl presently, and Ettorio is watching pornography in his room."

Lexi flushed. "Artemis, there is no need. Can you find her?"

He switched computer desks, dragging the phone mike with him. He entered in Audrinne's data on Foaly's satellite tracker; after three minutes, it had triangulated her position to…

"Butler, Lexi. Return to Fowl Manor at once. We have a runner."

* * *

Thanks so much for reading! Please do review :D

and, as always, many thanks to redhandedreader 3


	7. Audrinne Denied, Down, and Preggers

**Title:** Elysium

**Author:** damnielle

**Description:**Audrinne Redalucci is seventeen-year-old model about to hit it big in Paris; the stick in the mud is… she's colourblind. She solicits the help of a familiar healer in Vietnam, ultimately leading her to Artemis Fowl, in hopes to pour colour into her future. Before the magical restoration can be performed, Artemis and Audrinne find themselves in possession of an unexpected acquisition: another mouth to feed.

**Pairings:**Artemis/OC, Holly/Trouble, Foaly/Caballine

**Rating:**MA for sexual scenes and themes, language, and general ridiculousness.

* * *

_07. Audrinne is out like a light, Artemis gets Foaly and Holly involved, and Holly is reeeeeeally angry._

Lexi was very good at pacing. With Audrinne's popularity increasing like it was, she really hadn't gotten much time to improve in other hobbies. For now, pacing was all she could do.

Butler watched her pace, and commended her mentally for her skill. He too was a pacer. Artemis was significantly better at making the manservant's job a lot harder then it needed to be. Apparently, in the little time Artemis had spent with Audrinne, she had picked up his nasty habit of entangling herself in massive webs of trouble, usually in pursuit of some unattainable prize. Little did he know, he was dead on.

After a half-hour of such pacing and observance of said pacing, Artemis calmly switched the private jet to autopilot and poured himself a fresh cup of Earl Grey. Lexi sprang on him at once. "So? Where is she?"

"Do calm down, Miss Marcelle," Artemis said as Butler got out the tea china. He was playing his child prodigy mind games again. "Would you like some tea? Earl Grey, directly imported. No preservatives or unnatural toxins, and boiled in Irish spring water."

Lexi bit through her lip. Butler caught the metallic smell of blood. "I would like to wring Audrinne's precious little neck, but, alas, the one who seems to know where she is wants to play cute." She slammed her fist down on the table. "I'll be adding your neck to my list too, and Butler may let me do so for a while before saving your life, Fowl."

Lexi always referred to him as 'Sir' or '_Signor _Fowl'. Her new tone sounded remarkably like any of the sundry fairy folk he had come in contact with when they were yelling at him for winning. Artemis shook his head in disappointment and wagged his finger. "I would not play these games if I considered her to be in danger, Miss Marcelle. I have been to the exact same spot she is currently in, though for different reasons, and, so long as she is smart, she will be absolutely unharmed."

"Where is she, Fowl?"

Artemis put his cup down on the saucer and steepled his fingers. "She is in downtown Ho Chi Minh City, locally known as Saigon, Vietnam."

Lexi stared blankly for a few moments. "How in hell did she get there without me noticing?"

"According to my watch, her flight should be touching down an two hours, and we ourselves in three-and-one-half. She took a thrice-connected flight out of Dublin last night at seven."

"How do you know this?!"

Butler smiled. Lexi had asked the right question—to Artemis the right question was the one where he could make himself out as the genius he was.

"Firstly, I lip-read Audrinne and Dante—the Younger—having a conversation before her famous Armani show six weeks ago. She told him that, should she ever disappear without reason and be gone for an extended amount of time, he should alert the authorities. This proves that her absence is premeditated."

Lexi was perplexed. Artemis continued.

"Secondly, I have scanned her recent phone conversations and matched numbers. Apart from her frequent calls to you, she made only three other calls: two to radio shows, and a single other to a Vietnamese curator named Nguyen Xuan. Having been in contact with Mr. Xuan himself, I know personally that he operates out of Saigon."

"Is that what you wanted her SIM card number for?" Lexi spat acidly.

"No," Artemis said flatly. "I used it to ask her on dates after our first meeting with Armani. You should be thankful she took you along."

Butler coughed blithely. Artemis resumed his monologue.

"Thirdly, I used satellite technology to triangulate her position to Saigon. Additionally, I managed to piece together audio clips of her conversation with Mr. Xuan, who told her to meet him in Ho Chi Minh City." He cleared his throat. "These four points lead me to believe she is in Saigon—"

An alarm sounded faintly, appearing to be emitting from an oddly-shaped ring on his hand. Artemis abruptly put down his cup, the colour draining away from his face. Lexi shuddered. "What is that?"

He gulped. "That is an alarm monitoring Audrinne's vital signs. It appears she has gone unconscious."

He looked at Butler. "Ignite the ion cannons. This situation has become more serious than originally foreseen."

* * *

The shrine was small and squalid, littered with offerings of customers past: necklaces, chains, earrings, and even what looked like a Roman breastplate. The gold (or what she assumed to be gold) caught the scarce shimmer of light that had sneaked through the slatted windows, but, for the most part, the place was essentially dark. Audrinne was very uncomfortable.

"_Be at ease, child_," the voice said, like honey flowing over rocks. Against her will, she instantly relaxed. "There we go. Now, what can I help you with?"

Audrinne gulped. "I am colourblind, ma'am."

"Colourblind? A pretty thing like you?"

"Since birth. Complete colourblindness." She smoothed the skirt of her sundress. "I would like to see in colour, like the rest of the world. For now, I have hired someone to do it for me, but…I want us both to have lives of our own."

A warm but clammy hand took hold of her fingers. She felt something rush up the length of her arm and seep into her bones, but she couldn't see anything else any different. After a while of this humming feeling in her arm, the healer said, "I am very sorry, dear girl, but I cannot help you."

Audrinne was crestfallen, if that is a strong enough word. Even the arcane beings of the world could not heal her. There was no hope now. "Why not?"

"I am perfectly able to restore your vision," said the croaky voice. "But your body is not yet ready. A healing requires all elements of your system to be in sync, and there is an… imbalance. I cannot heal you today."

"When, then?"

"I cannot say, it depends on when you reestablish equilibrium. If I tried to today, things could take a turn for the worse…"

The healer was being evasive. "For the worse?"

"I cannot explain now, child."

Audrinne did something very rash. Perhaps it was because her delirium and sadness made her a little crazy and, when you have a gun in your hand, everything seems possible.

She leveled the semi-automatic and said, "I paid for this. Heal me at once."

The hand tightened on her wrist, and she went entirely hot. Her skin began to itch and burn, and it felt like her stomach was being torn from beneath her. She tried to wiggle free, but the hand kept a firm grip on her own. The heat was playing tricks on her eyes, tuning her vision in and out of focus…but there! A splash of something in the corner of her eye. The objects around her seemed to catch fire, and the heat, oh, the heat, it burned like a thousand suns, was that blue? Blue or gold? Was it…

She fell away from the world, slumping to the ground.

* * *

Butler was not particularly fond of Saigon. Not because of the sweltering heat, the idiot pickpockets, destitute poverty, slovenly living arrangements, or fairy healers in the backwaters, but because it would again be the place where something long and complicated was concocted by Artemis' sleight of hand.

Artemis had downloaded Audrinne's satellite position to his hybrid iPhone and remnant C Cube. In addition to tracking her across the globe, the contraption was also monitoring her vitals, scanning for other fairy life, and blurring signal transductions within a five-hundred-yard radius. Butler was surprised the little device hadn't conquered the world by now; it seemed capable of everything else.

Lexi's Zen trance was broken with the Saigon heat crashed over her. She was wearing a dark-coloured shirt to conceal her bulletproof vest—thought Butler noted it had been custom designed for her frame—and Puma Track Stars, lightweight, rubber-soled shoes with good traction and conducive sprinting shape. Presently, she had on thick Armani sunglasses to conceal her face, with was obviously slathered in worry. Even as he drove the party through the streets under Artemis' direction, he could not help staring at her and wondering if that same expression ever crossed his face when Artemis was gone…she looked so lost.

_Without Artemis, you _would_ be lost. He is your career, your Principal, your life._

"Stop here," Artemis said. "Are you ready to walk?"

Butler patted his various pockets, feeling the assorted weaponry hidden on his person. He smiled. "Let's go bring her home."

Lexi had apparently been through an impoverished metropolis like this. Once, when Audrinne had visited a Sumatran village to distribute pregnancy pills and vitamins, a gang of robbers attempted to kidnap her for dale into the prostitution market. All Lexi had to do was draw a weapon, and the gang vanished, leaving Audrinne reeling, bound to a chair. These alley-folk were no different; as soon as she stepped into the shady lane, she pulled her Winchester out from its holster on her back. Calmly but clearly, she said, "We don't want trouble. But well match any you put on us."

As the glittering eyes in the street swelled in apprehension, she cocked the semi-automatic gun loudly. As if on cue, the aspirant robbers made themselves scarce behind their makeshift shacks, trembling with fear.

They walked slowly down the lane in delta formation, Artemis at the forefront. He was following directions on his heavily modified iPhone. Suddenly, an untraceable number popped up on the screen in the way of his maps. He knew who it was. He slid the bar over and said, "Foaly?"

"Sorry to bother you on your little mission, Arty," the centaur's voice said. "But you're LEP discharge and we like keeping eyes on you. What are you up to?"

"A recovery mission," he said, a boil rising in his blood. "A friend has gone missing."

"A certain 'Audrinne Redalucci'?"

Artemis halted. "Foaly, she is no concern of—" He stopped, remembering Lexi was present. "…of the People. What have you done with her?"

Lexi looked fierce now, and Artemis signaled for her to be calm. Butler was hulking over him anyways, but Artemis wasn't totally confident just the fact that Butler was her boyfriend and his bodyguard would stop her. He decided to shoes his words carefully henceforth.

"Oh, but she is. She went searching for a fairy healer and, or so it seems, got there by way of an old contact of yours. All information about you and him has been eliminated from the Internet. So now, you could potentially be in trouble for almost exposing the fairy folk. Again."

Artemis wished Foaly could see him rolling his eyes. "Please, Foaly. I think we both know that I'm past that."

"Yeah, yeah, probably. I'll waive it for now as a favour. But I still have your girl, Fowl, and she has seen a fairy. I do believe a mind-wipe is in order."

"I suppose. What exactly did she seek out the healer for?"

"She's colourblind and wanted a simple optics heal. She was with the fairy for two hours before Holly recovered her."

"Holly?!"

"Yes, Holly. She heard that this was your girlfriend and wanted a peek."

Artemis blushed. "She isn't my girlfriend. Is she below?"

"No. She is holding Audrinne in stasis at Shuttle Port E1."

Artemis rubbed his Temples. Tara was back in Ireland. He started back towards the car. "What transpired in those two hours?" he said in Gnommish. Lexi stared, perplexed.

"Nothing, which makes me suspicious. Holly found her unconscious on the fairy's futon, and the healer was out to the market. Holly spoke with the fairy briefly, and she wants to talk to you."

"Holly does?"

"Yes. She's waiting for you at Tara, and I will be taking the next flare up myself. This needs to be sorted out fairly quickly."

Artemis was suspicious. Something was amiss if Audrinne was being held, Holly was sent to recover her, and Foaly was appearing aboveground. "What is going on, Foaly?"

The centaur sighed. "You have no idea."

* * *

Audrinne was absolutely gorgeous. Holly asked herself why they called humans 'Mud Men' if some of them looked like this. She had lightly tanned skin with tinges of burnt umber in just the right places and long tresses of curled blonde that fell in swirling halos about her head. She was thin but supple, not emaciated like the other models Holly had seen, and she was prettier than any of the fairy models by a long shot. Foaly apparently thought so too, as she could feel her head cam twisting above her to get a better picture.

_How in the world did Artemis land _this_ girl?_

She contemplated touching her to see if she was real, but didn't, for fear of her waking or, like most fairytales, exploding into a cloud of bubbles or something else equally innocent. Holly knew that she wasn't innocent, though…

Artemis, Butler, and a human female were carted in via camfoil transport to the shuttle port where Butler was patted down. Butler was dangerous enough with his bare hands, Holly knew, but it made the security fairies safer. She met Artemis at the front gate.

"Ah, Holly," he said suavely, embracing her quickly. "I do hope you have been taking good care of my charge, Audrinne."

"You're a real jerk, Artemis, to just leave her like this," she said acidly, before hugging Butler warmly. She turned now to the spare female. "Who do we have here?"

"Lexi Marcelle, head of Audrinne Redalucci's personal guard." Lexi was pretty, too. Artemis was paling around with pretty girls.

"Can't say I'm impressed with your work, Miss Marcelle. She had been alone and out cold for almost two hours when I found her."

"My thanks," the girl said, biting her tongue hard.

"Well, you ought to keep a better eye on her. Not that what I say matters. You'll be mind-wiped after this is all over." Lexi opened her mouth, but Holly pivoted around and began walking towards one of the trailers nearby. "This way. Foaly's waiting, and he is not a happy horsey about this mess."

Sure enough, Foaly was back in his aluminum foil hat. He snorted as they filed into the room, fingers hammering away at several keyboards. Audrinne was in a stretcher at the far end of the conference room, suspended over a jelly-like substance that was glowing light blue. She had a single IV in her left arm.

Lexi ran to her at once and checked her pulse. As soon as she felt the throttle of blood against skin, she relaxed—

Then tensed again.

"Oh my god. You're a horse."

Foaly whined. "This is so annoying. It's _centaur_. I have feelings, too."

"But…but…but you're a horse. And you have hooves."

"What of them? I like them. I suppose I ought to wax them, after running with Caballine and all that. The muck in Haven is atrocious. You wouldn't believe—"

"And…oh, my Lord…horse…horseman…with hooves, and…oh, Lord…"

"Centaur! It's _centaur_!"

"Don't bother, Foaly, We're just going to mind-wipe her anyways." Holly moved instead to confront Artemis. She pulled up a chair and sat directly in front of the crossed-legged boy and steepled her fingers in the same fashion she had seen him do. "I have some overwhelming and incredible news for you, Papa Fowl."

Artemis raised an eyebrow in disdain, but was otherwise silent. Foaly chuckled in the background, but Holly continued. "Audrinne Portia Redalucci sought out the magic of a healer fairy in downtown Saigon. She apparently got a grip on this information because you forgot to cover your tracks, Fowl. She tracked down your initial request to meet a fairy and made contact with the one called Nguyen Xuan. In exchange for thirty-five thousand in cash, he took her directly to the fairy and the two had a confrontation before she was admitted inside."

"Confrontation? Lexi said. Holly nodded irritably.

"When I found her, she was unconscious and armed with a compact semi-automatic Smith & Wesson .45 ACP."

"She has good taste," Butler said blankly.

"The fairy healer apparently ran a typical diagnostic test and rejected her, who refused to accept it. Redalucci pulled a gun on the healer—"

"What?!" Lexi exclaimed. "Audrinne would never."

Holly grimaced at the human, mocking her. "Oh, but she did. As I was saying…she pulled her gun, and the healer simply knocked her out and left her there, presumably to use the _mesmer_ on her at a later time."

"_Mesmer_?" Lexi said inquisitively.

In a fury, Holly turned her _mesmer_-soaked eyes on the young bodyguard. With a curl of resentment in her sweet voice, she said, "_Yes, human, the mesmer. Now sit down, shut up, and don't make me go bull-troll on you before I have to._"

Lexi sat in a chair obediently and looked up at Holly with saucer-sized eyes full of awe and sheer force. Even on mute, Lexi was still pretty formidable. Holly settled back into her own chair and pleasantly went on reporting. "I was sent on a recovery mission to investigate when Foaly found you moving to get her."

Foaly turned around in his swivel chair. "After we ran some medical tests, we have determined why she failed the healing diagnostic, and are currently holding her in high-oxygen stasis, complete with a suspension in a high-mineral matrix to promote healthy growth." He almost smiled to himself, but he remembered the gravity of their mission here. "In short, Fowl…well, I suppose we can't really cut this short, so…Captain Short?"

Artemis was genuinely interested now. He had leaned forward towards the elf, who now turned a bitter eye upon him. "She's pregnant, Fowl."

Artemis blinked. Lexi did too, but that was only because she was dumb from the _mesmer_. "I beg your pardon, what?"

"Audrinne Portia Redalucci is pregnant," Foaly said impatiently. "I performed a digital karyotype and matched related alleles to your DNA, and it is a ninety-four percent match. So, she is pregnant, and it is ninety-four percent likely that it is your child."

Artemis sat back in his chair, all the words blown from his body as if he were hit with a sledgehammer. Butler's mouth had fallen open, and Lexi has passed out on the floor.

"Well, this certainly complicates things," he said at last, speaking almost remotely from his brain.

"I'll say," Foaly whined. "Now you have a lot to think about, Artemis. This is one of your better mistakes, I'll say, and by better, I mean you've managed to successfully screw it up big time."

Artemis ran his fingers through his jet-black hair, thinking. Holly hated watching him think. It was like watching the warlocks put final touches on bio-bombs. She scowled. "Do you want to keep it?"

He was silent for a long while. At last, he looked over at Audrinne. "It is not my say, really. If she wants to keep it, then I have no choice." He looked back at Foaly. "Does she know?"

Foaly shook his head. "I have her on light sedatives, but I pulled the feeds just a few minutes ago. She'll be conscious in about forty-five minutes."

Artemis went back to stroking his head. Butler clapped a hand on his back. "Don't worry, sir. Audrinne will be fine."

"Perhaps. But there are certain moral and ethical complications to either options."

"And what are these options?" Holly said, crossing her arms.

The methodical and calculating Artemis was surfacing to silence the raging emotions. "We have two major and several minor. First, there is abortion."

Foaly and Holly trembled. Artemis shook a little, too. "I doubt she will authorize an abortion, being raised Catholic, but, then again, Catholics do not condone premarital sex, and she partook in that as well. It is still extremely unlikely, and I will discourage it, because it is dangerous to her health and could damage her reputation."

Typical Artemis. No heart at all, thought Holly.

"Second would obviously be allowing for a nine nine-months gestational period. From there, the child could be given up for adoption or kept to be raised by either Audrinne or myself. I cannot see adoption either, as the media will follow the child endlessly and Audrinne would receive lots of unwanted and negative media attention. If she does decide to keep the child, she will have to make some kind of statement to the public asserting the child's fate and paternity, which I will accept if she so chooses. Otherwise, the child can be named to any other of her admirer's title. I have no preference."

Holly almost coughed sarcastically as she violently retorted, "That's it? You just don't care? Artemis, this is a child, a life! And it's here life too! You're just gonna _leave_ her with a child, all on her own?"

She gestured down to Audrinne, who was fast asleep in the mineral suspension. She had her beauty wrapped around her still, but there was a new glow coming from deeper with in her now, emanating from a place he couldn't name. Holly's voice was filled with pity and stark realization. "This is the firstborn of the Fowl house, and you're telling me you just don't care? You don't care if your son is born away from you and grows up to be a flamboyant little fashion boy? You don't care if you see him in magazine photos, clutching his mother's hand, wearing pink footsies and licking a lollipop?"

Artemis' eyes were swelling now, on the verge of an epiphany. Holly couldn't resist. "I bet you do, Artemis. I saw the pressure you put on yourself to live up to your father's name. Now you're ready to just let your bloodline be thrown around in the Mud?"

Artemis broke, for the first time in his entire life. He saw synthetic memories of himself married to a pretty little girl who bore him a single son, who was equal to himself in brilliance. But then he saw Audrinne hugging a boy who looked just like his reflection, only younger and smiling. Artemis loved the smile. Audrinne kissed him squarely on the forehead and whirled him up into her arms, singing, "_Let's go see Papa!_"

Holly was there too, ruffling his head. "_Just like your father. Maybe you'll actually be good a sports_."

Butler would teach him to fight, and he and Audrinne would watch happily from the sides, cheering him on and booing when Butler won. He would become a great athlete and a sharp mind, tearing through books faster than his two-mile time. Artemis would be proud of him, and he'd be in aw of his father. He'd look into his father's mismatched eyes and say, "_I trust you_."

And that would be important.

"You are right," he said, trembling. "I cannot just leave her alone. If she chooses to keep the child, I will support her, and stand beside her, no matter the cost."

Holly thought for a second that it wasn't worth it to see Artemis upset like her was. But then she thought of a beautiful girl in stasis, a child growing within her. Of all the powers of man, his most potent power was that of creation. Man could create life in ways too stunning to comprehend. And she touched Artemis on the shoulder. "Then we have some serious fish to fry."


	8. Absinthe, Souffles, and the Truth

Title: Elysium

**Title:** Elysium

**Author:** damnielle

**Description: **Audrinne Redalucci is seventeen-year-old model about to hit it big in Paris; the stick in the mud is… she's colourblind. She solicits the help of a familiar healer in Vietnam, ultimately leading her to Artemis Fowl, in hopes to pour colour into her future. Before the magical restoration can be performed, Artemis and Audrinne find themselves in possession of an unexpected acquisition: another mouth to feed.

**Pairings: **Artemis/OC, Holly/Trouble, Foaly/Caballine

**Rating: **MA for sexual scenes and themes, language, and general ridiculousness.

* * *

_08. Holly and Lexi duke it out, Butler's soufflé falls in, and Audrinne just wants to cry._

"I will not invite you in. Not in a million years."

This was why Holly hated working with Mud People. They went back on their word at the worst possible time. In this case, it was outside of the Redalucci estate in Corsica, Carmelucci, with the master's daughter unconscious in an unfamiliar tuxedo-ed man's arms. The place was absolutely beautiful, but that was irrelevant, as Holly was very mad.

"Marcelle, you are being ridiculous. I have just flown you here from across the world. I am really not in the mood."

Lexi crossed her arms, pouting. "Big whoop, Tinkerbell. As the primary protectorate for the House Redalucci, it would be against protocol to have anyone other than family within the estate."

Holly tried not to bite her own teeth into her gums. "For heaven's sake, Audrinne is family! And Artemis practically is too!"

"Artemis is most certainly not family, he's from Ireland and—"

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT? HE IS FATHERING AUDRINNE'S CHILD!" Holly could have rained hell on the woman with the look in her eyes. The rest of the group, even Foaly on the commlink, just felt awkward.

_"Carmelucci_," Artemis said idly. "From their surname and the Italian 'carmella', meaning 'old beauty'. Clever portmanteau, if I do say so myself."

His attempt at leisured conversation was an utter failure at best.

Lexi cast a wayward glance at the unconscious girl in Butler's arms. Audrinne was used to sleeping in weird places—train stations, subways, jets, cars, anything related to mass transit—but she looked annoyed in her sleep at the moment. There was a muscled wrinkle in her eyebrow. Lexi sighed. "Alright. Can I place any stipulations on your entrance?"

Holly threw her arms up. "Why not? We just need to get her in the house."

"Fine. You are permitted entrance, but you are not allowed to be seen, heard, or… perceived by the Carmelucci staff in general. The maids will ignore us if they are actually doing their jobs, but I can guarantee Sylvia will stop us."

"Who's Sylvia?" Butler asked.

"A lead maid, I suppose. She's the housekeeper while Lady Maya is away." Lexi pouted. "She's from Naples. She'll be very forward." She directed this comment at Artemis, who pretended not to notice.

They made quite an awkward troupe, waltzing into the house with a limp Audrinne in tow. Butler was a total stranger to the house, and Artemis looked halfway between a looter and a benefactor, and Lexi hoped the dichotomy would be enough to keep Sylvia from asking questions. But, judging by their luck in the past few hours, it probably wasn't.

Lexi had just turned the key in the lock when the beautiful stained-glass door was thrown open. Butler turned around abruptly to keep Audrinne out of view, and Lexi swore maniacally inside her head. "_Ciao_, Sylvia."

Sylvia looked exactly as a housekeeper should: stout, slightly dirty, and cross at being interrupted. He had one hand on the door and another behind her back, presumably clutching the broom jutting out from behind her shoulder. Lexi knew that the maids didn't just clean all day…in fact, they slept until noon, partied late at night, and cleaned up their mess until two in the morning. Sylvia looked like she had partied straight through the cleaning. "Lexi? What are you doing here?"

"Umm." Lexi was fumbling for words. She turned around to Butler and Artemis, and was stunned to see the Butler was putting away a cell phone and Audrinne was nowhere to be seen. Holly had disappeared as well. Lexi fumed.

_I swear to God I will never forgive myself for handing Audrie over to a fairy…_

Butler smiled politely and bowed. "_Salve_, Sylvia. We are friends of Lexi's, here on holiday."

Lexi's eyes were frantic, and Artemis noted her fear. If she was going to ruin this operation because she was surprised, then he'd have to take over. He smoothed out his suit. "Ahh, Signora Sylvia. I am Artemis Fowl. I apologize for our rather sudden coming to Carmelucci, but our business could not wait."

"Business? Holiday?" The woman seemed nervous. "But…but Master Redalucci always calls ahead. I did not… the house… it is…not…"

Artemis pounced on that uncertainty. "Is there a problem, _Signora_?"

She put her hands up. "No, no, _Signor_—ahh!"

She had dropped the broom now, and, in her hand with three fingers extended, was a bottle of bright yellow liquid with the label torn off. Artemis recognized the fizz across the top instantly. "Absinthe. Impressive. Where, pray tell did you get this?"

Sylvia immediately bust into tears, now clearly drunk. "Oh, just don't tell the Master. I have such… such a lucky life with the Redaucci's…please, _Signor_…"

Artemis smiled. She had fallen into his trap. "Of course, madam. I suggest you and the cleaning crew go out to dinner. We will be finished at midnight." He took the bottle of absinthe. "Try a legal liquor, _Signora_, and we will both try to forget this happened, si?"

She nodded emphatically before turned violently back into the house. "MARTA! MASIMO! ENRIQUE! CELESTE! LET'S GO!" She turned back to Artemis and smiled, the smell of alcohol now over powering. "Yes, Signor, we will leave. Good luck and _buon notte_."

"_Buon notte_," Artemis said, waving the slouching crew out of the door. When Sylvia had pulled out of the driveway, the party in the foyer shut the door. Then, Lexi went ballistic.

"WHERE THE HELL IS AUDRINNE?"

Holly appeared suddenly, dangling in thin air, with a drowsy Audrinne cradled in her arms. Lexi snatched Audrinne away and checked her forehead for a temperature before rounding on Butler. "Why the hell did you give her to the fairy?"

Artemis cleared his throat. "You see, Lexi, it would have—"

"Shut up, Fowl, I wasn't talking to you," she snarled. "And it is Marcelle, if you please. Now, go on, Butler."

Butler objected to Artemis being treated rudely, but it was a bit funny and it was Lexi. So, for the time being, he permitted it. "Had Sylvia seen Audrinne unconscious in my arms, we would have had an entire other crisis on our hands. We might have been able to make it in the house, but not before Sylvia had called Master Redalucci."

Lexi nodded slightly, conceding. "But how did she disappear?"

"I gave her to Holly."

"And I clipped her to my Moonbelt, which negates half her mass, and shielded her with a sheet of camfoil." Holly patted a pocket on her left breast. "Butler and Artemis have flown across continents in this stuff."

Now that the story was somewhat explained, Artemis could pout. As Butler and Lexi put Audrinne on the couch and started dinner, Holly tapped Artemis on the shoulder. "You know what, Marcelle may be annoying as any Mud Girl, but sheesh. I'm starting to like her after that scene back there."

"She does that all the time," Artemis said unhappily. "If Butler wasn't so close to her, I don't think he'd let her do things like that."

Holly sighed. "Romance, romance, the world is thick with it recently."

"Artemis?" Butler clanged a pot loudly and apologized quietly to Lexi. "Go tend Audrinne. This is your battle field now."

"And keep it down," Butler added. "I don't want my soufflé to fall in."

Holly and Artemis seated themselves on upholstered stools near the couch where Audrinne was laying idly. Her breathing was becoming less and less rhythmic, and her eyes were fluttering mysteriously as she began surfacing from sleep, mumbling incoherent words to herself. Artemis took her hand in his and stroked it tenderly. Holly opened her mouth to tease him for being so affectionate.

Artemis dropped her hand suddenly. "Normal pulse. That's good."

The aww-how-cute blush on Holly's cheeks switched to annoyance. He was Artemis after all.

Audrinne sniffed delicately. "_Cioccolata_," she said languidly.

"Yes," Artemis said. "Butler is making his famous chocolate-cinnamon soufflé. You can have some after dinner."

"Butler?"

"Yes. My Butler."

Her eyes narrowed, lids still shut. "Artemis," she said, her voice touched with revulsion. "Minerva's Artemis."

Holly's jaw swung off her face as Artemis rubbed his temples in frustration.

"No, Audrinne, the Artemis. The Artemis that belongs to no one." He coughed. "Currently."

She opened one eyes experimentally, glared at Artemis, and shut it again. "Ugh. It is you."

Artemis, again, pouted. Holly giggled. "And I thought I would never see the day Artemis Fowl gets a taste of his own medicine. And from a girl!"

Audrinne looked up at Holly and cocked an eyebrow. She contemplated the image for a moment, and Holly said coyly, "Bet they don't have outfits like these in Paris."

"They do in Tokyo," Audrinne said. "But…you have ears…why am I groggy? I didn't drink myself into oblivion with you again, did I?"

Artemis chuckled. "It's funny that you mention that…"

Audrinne moaned throatily. "Oh, dammit. If I did, I must have forgiven you, in which case I un-forgive you right now. I can't keep sloshing up with you anymore."

She rubbed her eyes, and suddenly froze. "My eyes," she said, as if struck with awe.

Slowly, she sat up on the couch, covering two closed eyes with her palms. She took a deep breath, peeled them away, and opened her eyes, holding her breath—

Nothing. Just normal vision.

Her shoulders plummeted. "Fail cheesecat," she said quietly.

"What?" Holly drew back a little in confusion.

Artemis sighed. "It's an internet joke that spawned from an image board called 4chan. But that's another story. I don't mean to begin an interrogation, Audrinne, but what exactly did you go to Saigon for?"

"Business," she said instantly.

"I bet," retorted Artemis.

She crossed her arms. "Why is it any business of yours?"

"You seem to have awoken in my care, have you not?"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. I went there for medical reasons."

"If you were seeking out a doctor, a great place to go would either be the United States or India, not Vietnam."

She gave him a look that almost seemed to be testing him. She scrutinized his expression, but also is character. _Would he even believe the truth…? _Audrinne thought.

"Alright, Fowl," she said with the same acidic edge as Lexi. "I went fairy-hunting in Saigon. I heard there was a fairy there that could heal me. Better?"

"Heal your colourblindness?"

Her jaw dropped. Holly smiled; she had forgotten how much she missed seeing Artemis in action.

Audrinne stared for a long while. Then she managed to squeak, "How… how did you…?"

"Simple deduction after analyzing your visual habits and discovering your colour contacts," Artemis said coolly. "They were removed after you passed out. I don't know why you insist on dying them green; the grey is absolutely stunning."

Holly knew that Artemis had mastered the backhanded compliment. Audrinne, however, just looked at him for long moments before realizing he had simultaneously insulted and flattered her. Her face knotted in anger. "You are such a freak, Fowl."

She moved to get up, but Artemis stopped her. "Not so fast, Audrinne. We have other matters to discuss."

Her voice was rising. "I beg to differ—"

"No, **I** beg to differ, Miss Redalucci," he said firmly. "There are pressing matters at hand that must be dealt with—"

"So I am dealing with them, Fowl, by getting as far away from you and your creeper stalking team," she said contemptuously.

"How rude," he said curtly.

"SHUT UP, FOWL!" She bellowed in anger.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Lexi wrung out a cold hand towel and pressed it to her head. Butler touched her shoulder gently. She looked up at him through her tired, spent eyes with her usual exasperated frown. "I love her to death. I really do. I'm afraid that, at the rate she's going, it really will be until death."

"She is _not _going to die, Lexi," Butler said simply.

"I know, but she went very out of her way to undermine me. I thought my trust meant more to her than that."

Audrinne yelled, "SHUT UP, FOWL!" in the adjacent room, must to Lexi's chagrin.

"Women are strange creations," he said with a teasing shrug.

Suddenly, he straightened. Lexi tensed with him. "What is it?"

"My soufflé."

Sure enough, the entire center had caved in and left a half-baked, creamy ring along the edges of the pot. Butler sighed and set it on the stove, looking over it forlornly. "I haven't lost a soufflé in twenty years. Damn kids, always yelling about something."

Lexi poked her head around the corner into the living room, looking concerned. Butler towered behind her, a sublime hand on her waist. She was cleaning a mixing bowl and he was glaring in an expression of mild disdain. "Which of you is responsible for my soufflé falling in?"

Lexi ignored him. "Audrie, is everything okay?"

"He's turned into an other obsessive stalker, Lexi," Audrinne said, annoyed.

Lexi sighed dramatically. "Oh, Audrie, it's alright."

"No, it is not," she said, pouting.

"If you would just let me finish—"

"You are a sniveling worm, you low-life—"

"Audrinne, I am trying to explain myself—"

"Save it, sketch monster—"

"You're pregnant," he said flatly. "And I'm the father."

The entire room went quiet. Awkward reigned supreme.

Audrinne rolled her eyes so hard she practically severed the optic nerve. "That is the lamest attempt I have ever encountered—"

"It is not a lie, Audrinne," Artemis said strongly, despite the odds.

"In all my years in this industry—"

"I swear to you, this is not a scam—"

"In all the hundreds of ridiculous proposals—"

"Audrinne, please—"

"—this takes the cake for the most desperate…!"

At this, Holly fired up her wings and reared up over the couch. Audrinne, alarmed at the sudden and unfamiliar movement, squealed and sat back down, the power in her stance now greatly diminished.

"Look here, you stuck-up spoiled brat," the elf said hotly; "I am not going to let you speak to Artemis that way, considering he is at least trying to be reasonable with you. Even the richest and most influential of the world don't garner that kind of respect from him. What's more…" She gulped. "It's the truth."

Audrinne stared up at her, fear wild in her eyes. "It can't be… on your first…no. That just can't happen."

"It's happened. I can print out a hormone test for you if you don't believe me."

She put her head in her hands. "But I've just made it in Paris…and I have shows booked through the winter…"

She looked up at Lexi, tears coming now. Lexi patted her on the shoulder. "Don't worry. We'll get through this."

Audrinne covered her face. "Well, damn, we'd better."


	9. Awkwardness, Questions, and Talks

**Title:** Elysium

**Author:** damnielle

**Description: **Audrinne Redalucci is seventeen-year-old model about to hit it big in Paris; the stick in the mud is… she's colourblind. She solicits the help of a familiar healer in Vietnam, ultimately leading her to Artemis Fowl, in hopes to pour colour into her future. Before the magical restoration can be performed, Artemis and Audrinne find themselves in possession of an unexpected acquisition: another mouth to feed.

**Pairings: **Artemis/OC, Holly/Trouble, Foaly/Caballine

**Rating: **MA for sexual scenes and themes, language, and general ridiculousness.

09. Audrinne cries, Lexi force-kicks even Butler out of the house, and Artemis talks baby talk with Holly and Audrinne

Audrinne couldn't really do much more than sit there and ask herself how this was happening. The idea was rather disarming, not to say completely out there and far-fetched. Of all the sexual catastrophes that could have happened, she managed to snag one of the top two. At least she didn't have a disease.

Her head popped up. "Have you been tested?"

Artemis tried not to look offended. "Have you?"

Her head went back down. Of course she hadn't. Why would she? This wasn't exactly a regular routine for her. But him… she peeked at him through her fingers. He can't have done this any more than she had. He was certainly physically attractive, but he bore such an overbearing, haughty attitude that it wouldn't take more than a sentence to scare away any girl with an ounce of self-esteem.

_But I've got tons of self-esteem. How did this happen?_

His eyes suddenly fell on her, still super-saturated with his hardedge business demeanor. Even through his protective veil of narcissism, she could see that he was attracted to her. She liked that he always made eye contact; most of the boys nowadays let their eyes wander in plain view and made no attempt to appear engaged by her conversation.

She took in a stabilizing breath. "Lexi," she breathed out. "I know you picked me up after that night…"

"I gave you a dose, hon, if that's what you mean," she said, staring at her nails nonchalantly.

"Then why…" Now she wanted to kick herself. "Of course. I threw it up the next morning."

Lexi nodded grimly. "It needed to be in your stomach for 24 hours before it could be considered effective."

Now she looked at Artemis. God… a child… by him. She didn't even know him that well. And what the hell did he do for a living, make sideways deals in the fashion industry? That wasn't a lot to depend on financially, and even less to depend on socially. The tabloids were going to eat her alive.

_That really should be the last thing on my mind…_

_That's true, because worse things will happen to me than tabloids. First I have to tell Mama and Papa. That will go fairly smoothly. At least I don't live at home so they won't be able to formally kick me out. Then I have to tell all the fashion bookings, which will certainly drop me. And I had JUST gotten something back from Victoria's Secret…_

She swore at herself softly. "Goddammit. Dammit. Oh, damn."

Lexi, who had been standing there amongst other ogling company, suddenly switched gears. She turned to Butler. "Out of here. Everyone out."

She made a shooing motion with her hand and the gigantic bodyguard shot Artemis a wary look. Artemis sighed. "We'll give ourselves a tour of the grounds."

As they left, Holly re-shielded and perched herself safely on a wooden barstool. Sitting on couches made the fabric rumple suspiciously, and she intended to hear both parts of the story firsthand.

Lexi sat down close to Audrinne and slung an arm around her, rocking her. "Oh, _cherie_, don't worry. We're going to get through this. Your parents will understand—"

"No, they won't, Lexi. I'm going to be banned from this estate and they'll tell little Lucia and Francesca, 'Don't be like your sister and—'"

"They made your mistake as well."

"But they were already in love," Audrinne said, unable to fight the tears. "I don't love him…"

"And he doesn't love you either, Audrie," she said sharply. "This is actually encouraging. He hasn't fallen all over himself like one of the other lovesick boys you've entranced. He has a real chance to love you."

"But I should get to choose to love someone…"

"You do! You may fall in love with him. You may not. You'll never know unless you give him a chance. And all I am saying is that you have the best chance with him out of any I've seen. He is relatively immune to your beauty and charm…because, Audrie, you do use it very poorly on most boys you meet."

"That's my industry," Audrinne sobbed.

Lexi tucked the girl's head under her chin and held her close as convulsions wracked her body. "Well, enough fashion for now. Take a year off. It's a lot for an eighteen year old to manage. Go home and explain to your parents—"

"Oh God, Lexi, they are going to be the last people I'd want to know about this—"

"Either you tell them or they find out from a tabloid. And you're a skinny kid… so probably around… say, June, this is going to be dotting every magazine in the world."

Audrinne dried her eyes with the dishtowel Lexi had brought out from the kitchen. "Three months," she sighed. "I have three months to think of a plan."

Audrinne would need three months for a plan. Artemis, however, could do it in three minutes tops. Unfortunately, the difficulty was not crafting a functional plan; it was selecting the best of the many that swirled in his mind. Lying was almost a sport to him at this point and it was nice to have a chance to demonstrate it for a semi-legitimate purpose again.

Butler had taken up post at the head of the gardens to allow Artemis time to walk alone to think. Despite his paranoia, Butler could suspend his bodyguard instincts in the name of friendly understanding.

Artemis did not expect to be alone for very long, not if he knew Holly half as well as he thought. After a few blades of grass began shuddering uncontrollably, the elf un-shielded and pulled up two wrought-iron chairs. She plunked down as if tired. "Well, this is a catastrophe on an entirely new level for everyone, Artemis. What's the plan?"

Artemis ran a hand through his gelled back hair and tried to calm his nerves. "There are multiple available to us. I am speaking with the main focus being to save as much of Audrinne's pristine reputation as I can, which means potentially fatally binding consequences for me."

Holly raised an eyebrow. "Such as?"

"In accordance with her upbringing, the natural-looking thing would be to marry her in one of those sumptuous Hollywood weddings, then happily announce her pregnancy in some relatively noble tabloid. I could even place cues on the Internet that would make me appear as a long-term boyfriend that she kept secret."

Holly furrowed her brow and cradled her jaw in her fist. "Other than the fact that the marriage would be essentially a capture-bride ceremony, that doesn't sound like it has a lot of holes in it. You could even divorce her later when the entire thing blows over."

"Yes, yes, but that would mean loosing two new targets to my enemies," Artemis said, leaning back in his chair. "You see, it does not matter how hard _I_ try to cloak my sins; the tabloids will easily pry into _her_ life. When those certain parties of my past discover that I have a child and a wife, they will have permanent crosshairs on their heads. And to keep Audrinne safe, she will either require a dramatic increase in security—and large security parties are less trustworthy than a single man because you cannot ensure the loyalty of all members like you can with a one-on-one employee—or she must quit her career in fashion altogether and pursue something less publicly visible."

Holly took all of this in, listening intently, but she had other questions spinning in her brain. Any girl talking about marriage with a guy always dreams up an interrogation. She blurted, "If you marry her, are you going to lie to her like you lie to parents?"

Artemis gave her a funny look. Holy couldn't quite decipher it, so she furthered, "You can't lie to her and tell Butler and I the truth all the time. That is, if you're still telling the truth to us. You may have missed out on three years, Artemis, but you're not three years older. Marriage hasn't really sunk in for you yet."

"You're wrong," Artemis said tentatively, unwilling to show weakness. "It has troubled me greatly, all this lying to my parents, mostly about you and your People. If I marry her, will you let me tell her about…everything?"

Holly hadn't expected that question. That would be one more Mud Person who knew about the People. After that, there would be the kids… Commander Root would roll in his grave. Well, the good Commander was probably constantly rolling ever since Holly and Trouble went to that concert…he was probably powering the Earth's revolutions by now.

"Do you love her?"

"Of course not," Artemis said strongly.

"Then lie all you want. Cupid put it best: 'There can be no love where there is no trust.' If you marry her for the scapegoat factor, then you needn't say a peep."

"Do you think she'll do that? Marry me to clear the tabloids?"

"Models are stupid, but she's not that stupid. You'll have to pitch it to her properly. But you two need to have a talk or something before she starts dropping more kids from the most inconvenient fathers."

Artemis scowled and popped up from the chair. Holly stayed seated, fiddling with the top flower of a bunch of Italian lilies. The grounds at Carmelucci really were impressive…nothing like Tara, but few things were anymore. The noonday sun was bewitching.

"Holly?"

Artemis had stopped slightly up the cobblestone path, left hand in his pocket. His head was down. Holly squinted, but he was too far away for her to see his expression. "Yeah?"

"What if I fall in love with her?"

Holly smiled. "If you fall in love with her, then tell her everything."

Artemis' body language didn't get any easier to read. He simply froze, then continued towards the house.

Holly was still grinning when she settled back into the chair. _You never tell me what I want to hear, Artemis. I mean to give you no such quarter._

"The scary thing is," she said softly to herself, "it might actually happen."

Audrinne answered the door when Artemis knocked. It wasn't any less awkward or tense than before. She averted her eyes, and mumbled quickly, "Um…look…I'm sorry…for everything, like what I said…God. I'm sorry—"

He simply held up a hand and folded away his sunglasses with the other. He was more secret agent than scared teenager. She felt even more stupid. He peered at her as he stood on the doormat. "I believe we have many things to discuss. Would you like to talk about this now?"

She wordlessly slipped her feet into a pair of Rainbows near the door and trotted past him, shutting the door in her wake. He quickly matched her stride as they walked away from the gardens.

After a few moments of silence as they rounded the rear of the house, Audrinne sighed aloud. "The Tyrrhenian Sea is prettier than it sounds. We have one of the oldest piers still licensed in Bastia."

"I've been to the main harbor. Most of the piers are in ruins."

"Out here, there are less storms and less yacht traffic. Daddy has the yacht down in Alexandria for a business vacation."

"Business vacation? Isn't that an oxymoron?"

"Not if your business consists of out-drinking your potential clientele and impressing them with your wealth. He has a few old contacts he calls on to ensure he is still internationally popular." She sighed again. "I ought to quit work and go home to help Mother. Dante and Etty are too busy hunting girls and fixing cars to help with the twins or Marvalone. And Aurie is just lost… no dad, no brothers…"

She didn't get a foot on the wooded pier before she put her face in her hands. "Oh, God Artemis. I don't even have a perfect family now. I'm in no position to start one of my own…"

"Neither am I," he admitted, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "But we cannot change things now."

He forced a calm over them both and steered them down to the end of the pier where two more iron chairs stood, these rusted from the salt. He offered one to Audrinne and she managed to accept politely through her muffled sobs. Steadying himself with a breath of fresh air, he tried to marshal the fragments of his scattered mind while he hitched quietly, the iron scratching the wood as she shook.

He sighed, and shut off his social filter. "Let us first approach this logically by stating our desired outcomes of this situation." He gestured towards her. "Obviously, you want no black marks on your social record and the ability to continue with your blossoming fashion career. Am I correct?"

She nodded miserably, now making a conceited effort to stop the tears.

"I myself would like the same thing, only I would rather have _no_ record appear, much less a black mark. You're a beautiful girl, Audrinne, but I really haven't the security nor propensity for guilt to ensure your safety."

She nodded again. "I guess I understand," she sighed. "I wish this looked a little less like a one-night stand…I mean, we went on a few dates, but if I just come straight out and say that you're the father of my child… a Catholic girl with a child, good grief…" Her face went back to her hands.

"We could always get married."

Her neck snapped up and he shrugged defensively. "It was just an idea."

Her eyes narrowed. "I don't love you." She took a breath to steady her mood. "What I mean is that I've already made enough mistakes…I'm not going to make one at the feet of my God because I can't handle criticism I deserve. Marriage is too important to use it as an escape route."

Artemis scratched his head, relieved. "I half-heartedly agree with you; my other objections come in at the public sector… planning a wedding and attempting to keep it quiet are generally painful, and we don't need stress, not at this point in time."

"So what are we going to do?"

He looked up at her. She was beautiful, even with all her makeup cried off and her hair twisted in the sea breeze. Her brought up a picture of Minerva in his mind and placed the girls side-by-side only to discover Audrinne outshone even Artemis' fondest memory of the Paradizo girl. He didn't like it, but she muddled his thoughts with her sideways stare.

"Well…I suggest we go on several more public dates, both for us and for the paparazzi, and I will acknowledge any questions concerning our validity. I will also be setting up several Internet back stories involving us so as to make us appear long-term legitimate. When your body begins showing undeniable signs of pregnancy, I suppose we can announce ourselves as partners, for the time being. As for any modeling deals you may have scheduled, keep in mind the child is due mid-November; I would not advise booking any events for at least 3 months after that."

Audrinne coughed. "I've been placed on runway and catalogue for Victoria's Secret this year… and the fashion show is around Christmas."

Artemis rubbed his temples, trying to dispel the image of her in tiny underwear from his mind. "You may need to have a sit down with a representative or something."

Audrinne looked out across the bay and imagined she could see Milan in the distance, when her Mother and the children were probably at the summer festivals. She wished she could see the twins in their Sunday dresses, and Aurie with a fake sword. It was a beautiful picture. She knew her father dreamed of it, too.

"So what exactly do you do for a living?"

Artemis gulped. "I'm sure the tabloids would describe me as an Irish business mogul. I have hinges in several industries, ranging from construction to modeling—" he gestured to her, "but I consider myself a Renaissance entrepreneur."

He hoped that answer was vague enough to get him out of trouble but specific enough to please her, and was relieved when she smiled widely.

"Papa is going to love you."


End file.
